Get short, timely messages from Mark Shipton.

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Ireland
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India
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United States
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MuggyLittleC

  1. Tell the #BBC to stop promoting foie gras on air and on its website Please RT #FoieGrasCruelty via @PETAUK bit.ly/JSykWD
  2. Cheer up your Monday by pretending to be a unicorn.
  3. I've been signed off work with a chest infection, yet I am still here. What the fuck was I thinking?
  4. My eye keeps twitching and I cannie stop it! Twitter, am I going to die?!
  5. 0 + 7 = 7. 7 + 7 = 14. 14 - 14 = 0 ... Circle of life.
  6. The card machine & 'expresso bar' are down at Starbucks! WTF is going on?!!! #FirstWorldProblems
  7. Laters will late.
  8. @HuffPostUKCom @utterben I thought "This Twitter account is a waste of someone's life!" Then I experience the joy of @LAUNDRY_CARE #FF
  9. Big boys don't cry. Unless they get an owie on their finger.
  10. You know when you cough and you taste a tiny bit of blood? Yeah, that. #SicklyChild
  11. Damn nature, you scary! gizmo.do/JX6GYv
  12. @WH1SKS Except the guy. He's feeling stoked about it!
  13. Thursday's been a boring old cunt so far.
  14. @stewbannerman87 Yes...
  15. @Jezzebela (The smiley face told you I was joking, I didn't actually smile)
  16. @Jezzebela It's ok. I'm mean-spirited sometimes too :)
  17. @Jezzebela But it's like totes amazeballs!