@TheNextMartha There ya go, solving the unemployment problem, one retiree at a time.

@TheNextMartha Or ride with the 85 year olds. Clearly

@MommasGoneCity I have a dream that one day I will make my 1st million with Starbucks delivery trucks.

Productive Day done right “@ElizabethEv: I just left a meeting two engraved pens and one laser pointer richer. Not bad. Not bad at all.”

There will be pictures posted shortly, right? Right? “@maniacalmom: Pretty sure Mimi from drew Carey just walked in”

Outlook 2010, you and I are having eleventy billion problems. I was all prepared to love you but this? This is ridiculous

He oozes klass. RT @maniacalmom &people wonder why the outrage! #asshole Chris Brown to critics of Grammy-endorsed comeback: Fuck you

Every couple has different opinions on the significance of Valentine's Day. Also? Oral sex.

@MomIn_AMillion why limit the topics. Just make Rick stop talking about everything.

@Bucci82 ok they have now jumped the damned shark.

Valentine's Day evening at a basketball game w/my girls. All 10 of them @Elsberry High School Cheerleaders. Perfect

To everyone who wished me a Happy Valentine's Day, thank you. I'm pretty damned lucky to have awesome friends like you.

Dear Laptop cut it out. You can be replaced

Bring On the Hate Mail, I Don’t Understand Worshipping Whitney Houston nblo.gs/tYDvs

Bring On the Hate Mail, I Don’t Understand Worshipping Whitney Houston goo.gl/fb/2L6Fp

This just in, transferring accts from Windows Live Mail to Outlook is not nearly as easy or painless as you would think. Just sayin

Dear 52 Week Photo Challenge, my ideas ROCK in my head. Why can't my camera see things my way??

Dear Snow, you are interfering with my internet time, How can I keep readers interested if I can't post new shit on a regular basis?

Dear UPS, my package is less than an hour from my house and you cant deliver it till tomorrow? WTF? i had it shipped express b/c it's no ...

@hellohahanarf go buy a lottery ticket, you' re going to get unexpected money. #oldwivestales