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MosheLehrer

  1. Hey @calphalon, I had a cooking accident, and now I have your logo branded on my left hand. Need a new spokesman? twitter.com/MosheLehrer/st… 10:46 AM May 2nd via web
  2. I love Dropbox because ... I'm sure there's a good reason. db.tt/Kf2OCMSd 12:08 PM Feb 23rd via Dropbox 
  3. Prop 19, the ballot measure to legalize marijuana, didn't pass. It might have had a chance if supporters weren't too paranoid to vote. 8:30 AM Nov 3rd, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  4. I think the best contraceptive is spending time with other people's kids. Or maybe condoms. 9:08 AM Oct 27th, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  5. What is it about movie theaters that play havoc with my bladder control? 8:57 PM Oct 2nd, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  6. My head was a bird's toilet today. 5:57 PM Sep 19th, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  7. Half my tweets are missing! That makes me one pissed off twitterer. 10:39 AM Aug 18th, 2010 via Twitter for Android
  8. I'm just a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an all flour tortilla. 8:40 AM Aug 15th, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  9. I used the hot tub in my apartment complex. I was hoping to travel back into the 80's. I had to travel to a VD clinic instead. Not the same. 1:31 PM Aug 10th, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  10. Teething babies make me glad I can't lactate. 11:27 AM Jul 30th, 2010 via Samsung Mobile
  11. Why do women have a monopoly on boy-shorts? 11:56 AM Jul 4th, 2010 via web
  12. Ladies, buying a tie as a gift for a man is the same as not buying any gift at all. Buying two ties for the same man maybe be an act of war. 3:58 PM Jun 20th, 2010 via TweetCaster
  13. An infant pooped on me today, a big explosive blast, which got me thinking about the obvious question. Can infant poop be militarized? 9:35 AM Jun 14th, 2010 via TweetCaster
  14. Coincidence department: sardine cans and the plane I'm on are both are made of metal, both smell really bad, and both have screaming babies. 11:52 PM Jun 2nd, 2010 via TweetCaster
  15. Life in new york; Today I saw a douchebag yelling into his bluetooth while a paranoid schitzophrenic yelled at nobody in particular. 8:06 PM May 27th, 2010 via TweetCaster
  16. Things I can't do yet: Proficient parkour. Pilot a space shuttle built before 1973. Pee in a swimming pool (Don't ask me why. Just can't). 10:03 AM May 26th, 2010 via web
  17. Thoughts: I wonder if someone's intelligence is inversely proportinal to the amount of reality shows they watch. Also, Snooky is awesome. 4:58 PM May 23rd, 2010 via TweetCaster
  18. @llhargett, three is a big number for some people. 12:08 AM May 23rd, 2010 via web
  19. Stuff about me you may not have known; I'm a deep and complex person. I'm like an Oreo cookie, I have lots of layers. 11:52 PM May 22nd, 2010 via web
  20. Things I've thought; I'm in a bit of sex drought. It's been 24 years. No sex at all for 24 years. And I'm only 27. I was a slutty todler. 12:07 AM May 21st, 2010 via TweetCaster