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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
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Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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MorganJ7

  1. So annoying how my gynocologist won't accept HMO insurance plans or run his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep. 28 minutes ago via Twitter for Android
  2. Did you know that "Morgan" is French for "functioning alcoholic" and "I" "don't get invited to parties"? about 3 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  3. If anyone needs me I'll be sleeping through this conference call.. about 9 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  4. I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but I did unintentionally force my cats into lesbianism. about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  5. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, there is a lot of crying in the fetal position and drunk ex dials and Dos Equis sucks. about 13 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  6. If you look up the word "hangover" in a dictionary the definition is just a picture of me looking like shit. about 15 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  7. What are these "standards" I keep hearing so much about? about 16 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  8. You lost me at "I listen to country music on purpose." about 16 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  9. Parents are so annoying! "You drink too much"..."get a boyfriend"..."you can't date your cousin"...do I LOOK like Superwoman?!? 6:38 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
  10. I know we're supposed to break for pedestrians but why 6:28 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
  11. Life is hard. instagr.am/p/LMROMuBNEE/ 6:13 PM May 28th via Instagram
  12. I've been dating this hangover for a few weeks now so yes, I WILL be bringing a date to your wedding. 4:51 PM May 28th via Twitter for Android
  13. I memorialed the SHIT out of today. 10:56 PM May 27th via Twitter for Android
  14. Sometimes I feel like all people ever want to do on Memorial Day weekend is barbeque stuff and not get married to me. 9:54 AM May 27th via Twitter for Android
  15. I'd totally come to your "AWESOME BBQ!" but I already made plans to stick bamboo up my fingernails and die from papercuts, sorry. 9:41 AM May 27th via Twitter for Android
  16. I have already been drunk 3 times today. You do NOT want to step to this. 7:38 PM May 26th via Twitter for Android
  17. Just drank a Coors Light and immediately sprouted a mullet, lost a tooth and got pregnant. 7:25 PM May 26th via Twitter for Android