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I broke the copy machine at work a couple of days ago. My powers of destruction were greater than I thought.10:48 AM May 24thvia web
inflammatorywrtyou know what I like about Baz Luhrmann? He's fucking earnest. I miss earnestness. I'm growing weary of snark.11:08 AM May 23rdvia webRetweeted by MonkeyWhimsy and 2 others
Ew, Mailman, stop flirting with me. There's a reason why I'm single: I hate douchebags.11:13 AM May 18thvia web
WillRayRafAt my funeral I'd like there to be a pinata so that people can be happy. But filled with bees so they're not too happy. -Will7:04 PM Apr 17thvia webRetweeted by MonkeyWhimsy and 228 others
My mom and I ate half a dozen cupcakes today. That's a euphemism for: "My mom ate half a cupcake and I ate five and a half."8:38 PM Apr 23rdvia Twitter for Android
Savory oatmeal, how did I not discover you sooner?7:09 AM Apr 23rdvia web
Oh, and some heavy whipping cream. Can't forget that yummy ingredient.5:26 PM Apr 21stvia web