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MitchBanks

I'm introducing you to new people. You're nervous. I shouldn't have to tell you not to bring a book into the bar...but I do...and YOU DO!!! 12:46 AM Dec 5th from web
Jeff Foxworthy still finding his niche: "You might be a redneck if your wife's missing teeth are lodged in your knuckles!" 12:41 AM Dec 5th from web
I can't drink a Martini in sweat pants. I cant drink a Bush Light in a suit. And I can NEVER drink whats under my neighbors sink. 10:57 PM Dec 3rd from web
What does the Kool Aid Man look like right before he bursts through a wall? Does he slap his biceps like a power lifter? 10:55 PM Dec 3rd from web
@marcmaron Bite sized advice on how to deal with an unstable woman that is nice and likes you but you don't reciprocate the feelings? 10:54 PM Dec 3rd from web in reply to marcmaron
Life Rule #1: Never smell anyones fingers for any reason. 10:47 PM Dec 3rd from web
At what point in a mans life does he decide it's not douchey to have a goatee? 7:04 PM Nov 30th from web
@tonyisimportant Sleep is sandwiched with wanting to die and knowing you'll want to die. NyQuill. 12:53 AM Nov 13th from web in reply to tonyisimportant
@DougBenson Theres a Funny Bone in Des Moines...whaddaya say? 11:52 PM Nov 12th from web in reply to DougBenson
@TommyWiseau what the fuck. 11:51 PM Nov 12th from web in reply to TommyWiseau
When all else fails : "I know what you're tryin to say, baby" 10:00 PM Oct 29th from web
Searching for a practical use for a gauntlet. 10:09 AM Oct 28th from Xbox LIVE
@michaelianblack Dong darts is way catchier and you know it. 3:57 PM Oct 23rd from web in reply to michaelianblack
@mshowalter Please tell me you guys got renewed. 2:56 PM Oct 21st from web in reply to mshowalter
@danieltosh If I answer it right, do I get a coupon to Chilis? 2:55 PM Oct 21st from web in reply to danieltosh
@JulietteLewis Im not gonna ask you to marry to me. Let's get shitfaced together first. 2:46 PM Oct 21st from web in reply to JulietteLewis
Re-crushing on Sarah Silverman. Hardcore! 2:03 PM Oct 21st from web
@alisonhaislip Are you going for speed or quantity or both? 9:06 AM Oct 13th from web in reply to alisonhaislip
@rainnwilson you're goddamned fantastic. 10:24 PM Oct 8th from web in reply to rainnwilson
@danieltosh Im gonna get a DVR because Tosh.0 is on at the same time as It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. 9:34 PM Oct 8th from web in reply to danieltosh

Name MitchBanks
Location Storm Lake, Iowa
Web http://www.brainm...
Bio I'm an artist, a personality, and a sex bomb so big it'll send you into labor before you're even pregnant.