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MisterLaw
NOTES TO ELF: Stop it. Sit still. Put that down. Take that hat off. Get the fuck outta here. Don't come back.about 7 hours agofrom Echofon
NOTES TO SELF: Bag Balm is the bomb. Avoid fever pitch. Words mean stuff Retrace steps to tranquility. One piece of ice cream cake is good.about 7 hours agofrom Echofon
NOTES TO MILF: Buy Bag Balm. Take your Diflucan. Turn the lights down. Let me borrow your miconozole. Try nystatin next week. Let's do this.2:32 PM Dec 26thfrom Echofon
NOTES TO RALPH: There's no need to talk so loud. Understand words. Don't start in the middle of anything. Instead of buying that, don't.2:29 PM Dec 26thfrom Echofon
NOTES TO SELF: Lead, follow, or get outta the way. When in doubt, mumble. Time is a false construct. Be nice. Liars must die.2:26 PM Dec 26thfrom Echofon
It is far less patriotic to express your emotions to loved ones than it is to get drunk and invite strangers' children to sit on your lap.8:12 AM Dec 25thfrom Echofon
When I finally cross over into the celebrity hip-hop scene, I'm going to voluntarily squander my capital by rhyming "party" with "Bacardi."1:47 PM Dec 24thfrom Echofon
I gave only one gift this year, and it was to the entire world: Total irrelevance. You're welcome.9:21 PM Dec 23rdfrom Echofon
It seems relevant that with every decision you make, first you would want to take into account the fact that you're going to die.2:18 PM Dec 23rdfrom Echofon
Eddie, I like you. RT @eddiepepitone: lifestyle crimps #4-you have found out that your wife uses the basement to oversee executions in Chile3:25 PM Dec 22ndfrom Echofon
