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MisfortnCookie

  1. It was your mother who put your name on the no-fly list. about 8 hours ago from Seesmic
  2. That thing you love the most will break your heart the hardest. 9:18 AM Dec 15th from Seesmic
  3. The day you need them most is the day you forget the Kleenex. 6:07 AM Dec 10th from Seesmic
  4. You've failed at life when everyone tells you to "go fuck yourself." 11:18 AM Dec 9th from Seesmic
  5. Get to the end of the road and it means you're lost. 8:51 PM Dec 5th from Seesmic
  6. The delirious clouds of sadness will wash away all the bad metaphors. 7:53 AM Dec 4th from Seesmic
  7. Sometimes the sun shines so brightly it gives everyone fucking skin cancer. 7:52 AM Dec 3rd from Seesmic
  8. You will back into a fire hydrant, hit a tree and get saved by a golf club wielding blond. 10:49 AM Nov 28th from Seesmic
  9. Your considerable wealth will completely disappear by the hole in your pockets. 12:26 PM Nov 24th from Seesmic
  10. If you don't smarten up, you're gonna get traded to the Raiders. 2:23 PM Nov 23rd from Seesmic
  11. You will deserve all the nasty words that everyone calls you tomorrow 7:58 PM Nov 22nd from Seesmic
  12. When you dance, everyone will be laughing at you, not with you. 7:52 PM Nov 16th from Seesmic
  13. Yes, everyone sees you doing that thing you think is totally private. 8:58 AM Nov 15th from Seesmic
  14. Open your mouth again and someone will stick your foot in it. 3:12 PM Nov 14th from Seesmic
  15. Someone can always see you when you pick your nose. Yes. Always. 6:06 PM Nov 11th from Seesmic
  16. The love you make only results in ugly babies and major lawsuits. 12:56 PM Nov 10th from Seesmic
  17. You'll mistake water for vodka and wake next to an ugly person. 1:46 PM Nov 3rd from Seesmic
  18. Very important people will mistake your mole for a pimple every time. 8:31 AM Nov 3rd from Seesmic
  19. You will not be on anyone's Twitter Lists and you will cry. 5:59 PM Oct 30th from Seesmic
  20. Sex in the car is awesome until you swerve into the truck. 11:40 AM Oct 29th from Seesmic
  • Name Cookie
  • Location A bad place on your table.
  • Bio 12 words of misfortune cookieness. The perfect after dinner treat.
4 Following 194 Followers 8 Listed
Not Martin Sorrell One Bad Cookie motke Very Short Story