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MikeRevenaugh

  1. This might sound crazy, but on such beautiful days like this, I just can't help but feel that everything is telling lies about my penis. 11:32 AM May 20th via web
  2. In an effort to sidestep sanctions, Iran is storing oil on large tankers and pretending they don't exist. You know, like homosexuals. 7:35 AM May 14th via web
  3. White supremacists were arrested while training for a race war in Orlando. These guys are the biggest skinheads there since Disney. #Truth 11:12 AM May 9th via web
  4. Every morning on my way to work I feel like I've stumbled into the final round of the International Slow Walking Championship. #NYC 9:07 AM May 7th via web
  5. The Associated Press apologized for unfairly firing a reporter 67 years ago. Several minutes later, the Huffington Post also apologized. 1:23 PM May 4th via web
  6. Whenever I hear "Slow down, it isn't a race," I know I'm winning. Especially during sex. 5:54 AM May 2nd via web
  7. Canadians: Robots in Disguise? Discuss. 9:54 AM May 1st via web
  8. @HenryGammill Hi Henry. 7:32 PM Apr 30th via web in reply to HenryGammill
  9. Coca-Cola is in talks to buy Monster. Coke considered going back to selling cocaine-laced beverages, but decided that was just too healthy. 7:32 PM Apr 30th via web
  10. Watched Summer of Sam yesterday. I was hoping to see Mira Sorvino nude, but saw Patti Lupone instead. #confroused 10:10 AM Apr 28th via web
  11. Starbucks announced it will place shops in Disney theme parks. Watch for the opening of the Venti Thunder Mountain Railroad. 1:36 PM Apr 23rd via web
  12. While many glaciers are shrinking, some Asian glaciers are actually growing. Experts attribute this to their strict academic upbringing. 11:52 AM Apr 16th via web
  13. A study found a link b/n the number of Walmarts in a county and the number of hate groups. The same is true for their top rival, KKK-Mart 9:58 PM Apr 13th via web
  14. Check it out: helloblueivycarter.tumblr.com #BlueIvy #designedmemory 5:46 PM Feb 10th via web
  15. I only wish Tom Coughlin were alive to see this. #GoGiants #SuperBowl 7:13 PM Feb 5th via web
  16. @kathaub I'm sorry, you had your turn to complain a few weeks ago. Let the New Englanders have their bitch time. 7:09 PM Feb 5th via web in reply to kathaub
  17. Yeah Giants! I bELIeve! #superbowl #GoGiants #TomBradyCryingInTheArmsOfHisSupermodelWife 7:03 PM Feb 5th via web
  18. Do the safety dance. #superbowl 3:43 PM Feb 5th via web
  19. Pfizer has recalled one million packs of the Pill. So far they haven't recalled my form of birth control, a deep love of Star Trek. 8:07 AM Feb 1st via web
  20. I think we should agree to redefine "titular" to mean "awesome." 8:43 AM Jan 23rd via web