MikeDrucker
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I'm not fond ruining people's good times.
about 1 hour ago
from mobile web
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If you put off your animation project to the last minute, a good idea is a famous painting thinking something funny.
about 6 hours ago
from web
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Chili's specials never are.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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I just generated a out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: tonight, time, people -
about 9 hours ago
from Tweet Cloud
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@ I'm just saying. If a kid told me I wasn't wearing any clothes, I'd be like, "Oy vey, kid. Manners, right?"
about 9 hours ago
from web
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Maybe the kid who thought the emperor wasn't wearing any clothing was just bad at being a kid. Has anyone ever thought of that?
about 10 hours ago
from web
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Geologists always take that tone when talking about volcanoes. It's like, I get it.
about 10 hours ago
from web
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If there's no site to post my Augusten Burroughs fan-fiction, I'll make one.
about 18 hours ago
from web
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Dear God RT @ Time out, TLC. "650-lb Virgin: The Weight is Over" should not be the name of a show, you soulless motherfuckers.
about 18 hours ago
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RT @ i find myself deeply irked by comics who do 'jokes' about how attractive they think they are.
about 18 hours ago
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Pandora creates the soundtrack to my life: "E.T. Theme," followed by "Back That Ass Up."
about 22 hours ago
from web
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Please stop airing Billy Mays commercials. I know you spent all you 2004 ad budget on hiring him, but he's gone now.
10:34 AM Nov 28th
from mobile web
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Happy Thanksgiving, every-(air raid siren). Run!
9:19 PM Nov 25th
from web
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My favorite part of Thanksgiving: being angry about waiting around people who are angry about waiting around.
12:49 PM Nov 25th
from web
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Old, But Fave Rejected Onion Headline: "Hardware Store Owner Never Was One For Romance"
12:45 PM Nov 25th
from web
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What a terrible day. I have loser written all over me. I really need to stop falling asleep at parties.
9:41 AM Nov 25th
from mobile web
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The PIT is on 29th between 6th and 7th, not 7th and 8th. My apologies.
6:23 PM Nov 24th
from mobile web
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Writers Room @ The PIT tonight. 9:30, 29th between 6th and 7th
5:54 PM Nov 24th
from mobile web
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Half the people in Whole Foods look like Fox News anchors.
12:29 PM Nov 24th
from mobile web
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My New D&D-inspired @ Stock Note (far right)
11:13 AM Nov 24th
from web
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- Name MikeDrucker
- Location New York City
- Web http://www.drucke...
- Bio Comedian & Contributing writer for The Onion, SNL, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
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