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MichaelJohnston

  1. Hmm... what did I think of Brüno? I think I need to go pray.about 3 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Sometimes I laugh and wonder how long I've been hiding a chipmunk in my throat.11:37 PM Jul 7th from Tweetie
  3. I'm definitely funnier than @sween, you guys just haven't realized it yet.11:08 PM Jul 7th from Tweetie
  4. I think everyone deserves to have a smokey robinson at least once in their lives.5:19 PM Jul 7th from Tweetie
  5. Where is a Pokéball when I need it? http://twitpic.com/9mrrj3:43 PM Jul 7th from Tweetie
  6. I have a feeling that @MacOSKen was more famous before he met me. It's amazing what I can do to somebody's career.1:26 AM Jul 5th from Birdhouse
  7. Lesson learned from being pulled over just now: ALWAYS have an extra ice cream sandwich for the officer.4:54 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
  8. I secretly dance to gangsta music.11:30 AM Jul 4th from Tweetie
  9. To celebrate my ability to offend 1000+ people at once, I got someone to make a pie chart of my current demographic... http://is.gd/1mL455:09 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie
  10. And what's with only losing ONE follower with my GTD/masturbation joke? Are you guys beginning to tolerate me? Awwwwwwwwwh, let's cuddle!11:59 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  11. Just when I thought I'd go to sleep I got sidetracked and started reading twitter. The Internet is so good at ruining my life.11:40 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  12. Let's see... Current Contexts:@computer @penis @tp @internet Time available:5min Energy available:hornayy What next action can I... oh yes.7:24 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  13. Beam Me Up Scotty doesn't need a reason to trend Twitter. Also, I won't mention that it's a misquote because that would make me a nerd.6:23 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  14. If you think my jokes are bad now, just wait until I start telling GTD jokes.4:24 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  15. Still trying to figure out if having to put "clip toenails" in my to-do list makes me efficient or retarded.3:57 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  16. Little car is currently being outfitted with flubber. It's flyyyyyyiiiiiing! http://twitpic.com/92wuk2:19 PM Jul 2nd from Tweetie
  17. I can't be the only one who sees "vagina" with the word "lasagna," right guys? Guys...? F**k, I hate Twitter.1:28 PM Jul 2nd from Birdhouse
  18. Protip: Doing a Neti Pot before a date is a dangerous move. Explaining why a bunch of water just came out your nose just isn't attractive.5:16 PM Jul 1st from Tweetie
  19. Keep cool my babies, your Mac Geek Gab is on its way. PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS YES!11:51 PM Jun 30th from Tweetie
  20. Sorry vegans, I forgot that you didn't like to be associated with the virgins.8:32 PM Jun 29th from Tweetie
  • Name Michael Johnston
  • Location Rockford, IL
  • Web http://www.iphone...
  • Bio I love beautiful objects. I love creating them. Negative people upset me. I occasionally talk about the iPhone.
55 Following 1,015 Followers
Craig Hockenberry Jacqui Cheng Fish McFace Joshua Green Allen Omar Jasso Ed Kirk Tim Siedell Remiel Josh Donoghue Tessa Castaneda Theresa Ben Clayton Jason Sweeney HowardGraham You Look Nice Today Nick Schiro JT Fart Sandwich Alison Agosti luckyshirt M. Hopkins Aimee Brock amanda sihakom Zack Pirrello kurt richard ambrose Matthew Heidenreich ryan grove katie barisa Chelsie Benhoff Marl Salaum Callie Ezell Ben Houtkamp Joel Marcus Williams Holly Likes Fake Omar Jasso Leah Keirn