MerryFebruary
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Fact: The original title of "Raindrops Keep Fallin' (On My Head)" was "Cloud's Prostate (Is Actin' Up Again)".
6:28 PM May 25th
via HootSuite
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Phillip Phillips suuuuuuuuuuuucks.
5:17 PM May 23rd
via HootSuite
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I just love that for old people picking out a shirt on the clearance rack has all the calculated anxiety of filling out legal documents.
12:20 PM May 19th
via HootSuite
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Wow, Blizzard, thanks for the sweet ass notepad! I will be sure to use it to...um...do whatever one does with notepads.
2:12 PM May 18th
via HootSuite
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Good news: Your neighborhood is going to have a bouncy castle at the Memorial Day BBQ! Bad news: You are 35.
1:45 PM May 16th
via HootSuite
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Wallowing in self-pity is so much easier than wallowing in old-fashioned pity. And you don't have to wear waders.
4:22 PM May 14th
via HootSuite
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@ At Lulu's age I was privileged enough to meet Bill Ratliff (at my house - swoon) for the first time. Coolness, indeed.
4:20 PM May 14th
via HootSuite
in reply to seandalypoplife
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I think Slugworth just rang up my groceries; you'd think Wonka candy within arm's reach would put a smile on your face, but you'd be wrong.
2:21 PM May 7th
via HootSuite
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Geez, @ home page! What is wrong with you?!?
9:23 PM May 1st
via web
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FACT: Every 5 minutes someone will sneeze or otherwise expel mucus inside a Pier 1.
5:50 PM Apr 28th
via HootSuite
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Doctor friends are fine but only a locksmith friend can get you in your house when you have locked yourself out at 3am. I need more friends.
12:02 AM Apr 14th
via HootSuite
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Just so you know, if I see you wearing a green shirt today I'll assume that you just now regained consciousness.
10:52 AM Mar 19th
via HootSuite
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Glass bottom boats you make the rocking world go 'round. Or something like that.
4:20 PM Mar 18th
via HootSuite
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Pop Quiz: The guy pinching you is a) a pervert, b) Irish, c) Italian, d) red-green color blind.
12:22 PM Mar 17th
via HootSuite
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Fun word: choo-choo! Annoying word: fracking.
1:26 PM Mar 8th
via web
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Fun word: honk-shu! Annoying word: sleepy-doodles.
1:18 PM Mar 8th
via web
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Fun word: moobs! Annoying word: anytizers.
1:12 PM Mar 8th
via web
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I dreamt that the Statue of David was attacking me with a crossbow. It was the sheer alarm at the historical inaccuracy that awoke me.
3:41 PM Feb 24th
via HootSuite
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@ Um, is something wrong with WI? My address bar is showing your server location is in Ireland.
9:12 PM Feb 9th
via web
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@ A subject that needs mentioning - Shamrock Shakes - and the website that gives you all needs to know: .
4:40 PM Feb 3rd
via web
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- Name Meredith Hoegstrom
- Bio Victim of turpentine poisoning and the effects of too intense sun on a Nordic brain.
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![[adult swim]](http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1634362280/AS-icon-300x300_mini.jpg){kind=icon}
