MeanMartini
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I had an amazing dream about fucking a blonde through a steamy car wash.
Then I woke up & it was fucking Thanksgiving. I don't do those.
about 5 hours ago
from txt
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Bored. I still haven't gotten laid... My DM notifications are sent to my phone--which is on vibrate. I won't tell your bf/husband. Ladies?
about 6 hours ago
from txt
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Dri v i n g t o C a l i f o r n i a.
La Verne, welcome my family and my mood swings with silence, gin, and plenty of pumpkin pie.
about 7 hours ago
from txt
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@ :)
about 8 hours ago
from web
in reply to SiriusHack
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Fuck you. I hope today hangs itself in a cheap hotel with a bottle of well whiskey.
about 9 hours ago
from txt
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Happy Thanksgiving
about 19 hours ago
from web
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So Asshole brought up Twitter @ dinner and everyone wanted to hear one of my stupid jokes. Fuck, let's just hand out copies of my diary too!
about 21 hours ago
from txt
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Our family celebrates Thanksgiving early, at a teppenyaki restaurant w/ lesbians. Fuck your turkeys. I'll have mochi ice cream for dessert.
about 24 hours ago
from txt
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- Does this lip gloss or my pouting make me look like a fish?
2:56 PM Nov 25th
from TwitPic
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Mozzarella went to the palace & married the Prince. They lived cheesily ever after. Until he covered her in bread crumbs, fried & ate her.
12:32 PM Nov 25th
from web
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Apparently, the egg cracking on Twitter does not exist if no one is there to star it.
10:54 AM Nov 25th
from mobile web
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@ Not eggsactly. I'd have to get LAID first.
10:34 AM Nov 25th
from mobile web
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How much baby? You jumbo or large? Let's go back to my place, take a dip in my saucepan, get you hot & hard, & let me toss your egg salad.
10:29 AM Nov 25th
from mobile web
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He cracked through her tough shell. Vulnerable, as he skillfully whisked her. They were not eggsclusive, the chick was used for breakfast.
12:42 AM Nov 25th
from web
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"I'll fight black people, but not lesbians." -Gay guy at my bar.
8:10 PM Nov 24th
from txt
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I should be nice to my bf. So I can get some, you know, money. I need lunch money.
5:34 PM Nov 24th
from txt
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Is Favstar still a thing? Asking for my lack of stars.
4:28 PM Nov 24th
from txt
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Can babies eat people food? Asking for my cake...
12:31 PM Nov 24th
from txt
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@ Girl, call me! I didn't get a txt. I'm going in to work at 2, maybe you can come down!
12:30 PM Nov 24th
from txt
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This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you... *continues beating cake mix*
11:40 AM Nov 24th
from txt
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- Name Miss Chris
- Location Las Vegas, Nevada
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Vulgar bartender. I'm like Jack Daniels served in a martini glass. I use Twitter to share my manic creativity.
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