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Baby! Talking! Ahhhh! He just pointed to my star tattoos and said, "moon!" It's close! I'll take it. I guess I can't call him my baby now.12:13 PM Dec 24thfrom Tweetie
Bahhhhhh. It's Christmas Eve. Commence chicken without its head sequence.12:04 PM Dec 24thfrom Tweetie
I'm totally going to record this snoring. It's like a three part harmony in here.10:15 PM Dec 22ndfrom Tweetie
OMG. Could you snore any louder?!? Srsly. There are THREE living being (2 human, 1 dog) snoring up in this piece and I'll NEVER sleep.10:14 PM Dec 22ndfrom Tweetie
RT @joeschmitt: People! Don't tweet and drive. It's dangerous. Always pull over AND THEN star my hilarious tweets. Safety first.6:24 PM Dec 22ndfrom API