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M_Foody
I haven't tweeted in a while. That's a fact. But I'm opening for doug stanhope tonight at Tom Tom's at 8:00 and I wanted you to know.11:50 AM Oct 15thfrom web
It's a good idea to ask strangers to bring this relationship to the next level. Then they find out the next level is outright hostility.4:38 PM Sep 1stfrom web
There have been so many Final Destination sequals. Strange right. The next one will be: Final Destination: For Realsies this Time7:11 PM Aug 29thfrom web
I want to create a hit film franchise. I call it Star Wars. It's a combination of the hits "Star" Trek and Star "Wars".7:04 PM Aug 29thfrom web
Dogs are weird; a great dane is so much bigger than a little pug. It's like if the French were 10' tall and Germans way had too much skin.6:52 PM Aug 29thfrom web
If you are looking for a new apartment an important question to ask is "how do you feel about me having way too many rabbits".6:46 PM Aug 29thfrom web
If a bunch of guys wanted to beat me up I'd say "I'm not gay" because maybe they thought I was gay and that's why they wanted to beat me up.6:41 PM Aug 29thfrom web
I just wrote the word 'Yacht' for the first time right now. I've seriously never wrote the word before. I thought it had a G, but nope!10:34 AM Aug 12thfrom web
I think GI Joe was better than Transformers II in the same way that chlamydia is better than syphilis.8:07 AM Aug 10thfrom web
Who remembers those mentos commercials? I know right!4:26 PM Aug 7thfrom web
Even though Ebenezer Scrooge ended up being generous, the point still stands because ducks don't name their children.4:25 PM Aug 7thfrom web
If you name your hatchling after the last name of a famous miser you shouldn't be shocked by how greedy your duckling grows up to be.4:23 PM Aug 7thfrom web
If I could be any animal I would probably be a duck because I've been informed that a party animal does not count.4:20 PM Aug 7thfrom web
@John_McB These good ideas go unrecorded too often. Like when I figured that people love ice cream, but hate calories... 0 cal ice cream!4:32 PM Jul 24thfrom webin reply to John_McB
Guess what idiots. Even if you are "allowed" to arrest a Harvard Professor for yelling at you it is still stupid to do so. So yes, "stupid."4:26 PM Jul 24thfrom web
Just got google voice. My number is (202) 569-8736!10:15 PM Jul 16thfrom web
Over the years I have misremembered The State's porcupine racetrack sketch as containing as song "Where there's a Quill there's a way."5:40 AM Jul 16thfrom web
