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MODAT

  1. I'm not sure why AT&T dropped Tiger Woods. He just took advantage of his "Nights and Weekends" and proved "roaming" can be expensive. 7:35 PM Jan 2nd from web
  2. I'm still waiting for the other ball to drop, but enough about my congenital defect. 10:54 AM Jan 2nd from web
  3. Is anyone else worried that the TSA doesn't have a scanner big enough for Aretha Franklin's Hat? 10:14 AM Jan 2nd from web
  4. Damn! You can add Brazilian mudslides to the list of things that leave any mound smooth and free of bush. 9:17 AM Jan 2nd from web
  5. Love is like Oxygen. It's fairly soluble in water. Drown bitch! 8:30 AM Dec 30th, 2009 from web
  6. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but were quickly removed. Elin came home. 8:28 PM Dec 25th, 2009 from web
  7. According to NORAD, Santa just left Palin's house and is heading back home. (Admit it. You'd probably empty your sack there, too.) 12:16 AM Dec 25th, 2009 from web
  8. The same to you and your family. Keep bringing the funny! 8:43 PM Dec 24th, 2009 from TweetDeck
  9. In light of today's incident, Vatican security is reconsidering the "Pope on a Rope" defense. 3:55 PM Dec 24th, 2009 from web
  10. Developed a new product... Introducing the Fistwatch™ Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’… 3:44 PM Dec 24th, 2009 from web
  11. If you guys can't get me Penelope Cruz wearing thigh highs, heels, and a Santa hat, then just PayPal me some cash so I can get a bottle. 4:40 AM Dec 24th, 2009 from web
  12. Someday, the elderly will realize they can get the drug dealers off their streets by simply using laser pointers. 5:18 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from web
  13. This just in... Julian Lennon's comeback has been pushed back to 2012. 5:15 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from web
  14. The 22 million missing Bush White House e-mails were found. The were on George's desktop in a folder named "Hard work." 4:23 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from web
  15. I came, eye sore. 4:08 AM Dec 14th, 2009 from web
  16. That last one is from the archives. 6:43 PM Dec 13th, 2009 from TweetDeck
  17. Two lesbians attached a dildo to a reciprocating power tool: They saw. They came. 6:42 PM Dec 13th, 2009 from TweetDeck
  18. Quitting Favrd cold turkey was tough, but the nursing staff was nice enough to draw gold stars on my bedsheets when I didn't soil myself. 10:09 AM Dec 13th, 2009 from web
  19. I secretly replaced her sanitary napkins with dryer sheets, but the bitch is STILL giving me static. 4:16 PM Dec 10th, 2009 from web
  20. I hope Favrd comes out of retirement like that football player...What's his name? (Thank you @textism) 5:26 AM Dec 6th, 2009 from web