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LoveJamieO

  1. Sometimes I feel like going all 'Ask Ashley' on some of the stupid shit I read on Twitter.
  2. Just saw a photo of the guy whose face was eaten off by a crazy fool in Miami. Suddenly craving lasagna.
  3. I just had to stand there while my mom and @RandiWrightXXX felt up on each other's boobs. Not unusual at all.
  4. Boobs.
  5. Bottomless steak fries, you say? I'll eat anything bottomless, I say! #nopants
  6. If 'the body of Christ' really was a small cracker, it would be a Cheez-It because they're fucking delicious. Just like Jesus. #rerun
  7. I'M MOVING TO SCOTLAND. RT @OMGFacts: The Unicorn is the National Animal of Scotland! Details --> omgf.ac/ts/p7m
  8. "Oh, yeah. His house was painted 'black people live here' pink."
  9. I never regret things I haven't gretted at least once first.
  10. Buzz! I'm goin' through all your private stuff! You better come out and pound me!
  11. My house smells like IHOP. If that isn't the best fucking thing to wake up to, I don't know what is.
  12. Having a late dinner? RT @MeganLevant: Sperm
  13. If you have hiccups, balance a glass of water on your head & walk backwards holding your breath. Then no one will care about your hiccups.
  14. Claire says today I feel like the wind and smell like "a beautiful 70's woman". Why not.
  15. If I had terminal leukemia, my Make-A-Wish would be to learn the drum solo to 'In The Air Tonight' by Phil Collins & play it on tour w/ him.
  16. Somebody somewhere must have made the enormous mistake of telling Russell Brand he was funny. Because he sure seems to think he is.
  17. Hello minions. This is your captain speaking. Have you seen my pants? twitpic.com/9qcly6