Get short, timely messages from Lara (not Laura).

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Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
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Lilbyrdy

Just my opinion....but seeing a dick pic from the angle of you sitting on the toilet...is distracting and gross. >_< Next. half a minute ago via web
There sure are a lot of confident dicks floppin' around here. Walk up to the bar with your dick in your hand...see how that works out. 4 minutes ago via web
Disrespecting Ramen Noodles in my presence may get you a swift punch in the face. That's my family you're fucking with. 17 minutes ago via web
Headin' out. I've got on my mini-skirt, flip-flops, Bocephus tank top, and red lipstick. I'm fixin' to find me a trailer park stud to fuck. 31 minutes ago via web
Damn. Type, delete, type, delete, type, delete, type, delete. You're fucking lucky I landed on delete, prick. Odds are it wont reoccur. about 1 hour ago via web
Oh, you're really into politics? That's nice. You can either wake me when you're done talking about them, kill urself, or shut the fuck up. about 1 hour ago via web
Hey, dude that DMd me: I didn't tell you NOT to have your kid in ur avi, I said don't expect me to take sexual tweets seriously, dumb ass. about 1 hour ago via web
@TMLAROCK Yes. :) about 1 hour ago via web in reply to TMLAROCK
What a weird afternoon. I'm going to make it normal by getting highly intoxicated. Ready, Set, Patron. about 1 hour ago via web
I love when people "solve" my problems without being asked. By solve, I mean being fucking nosy, judgmental, and wrong. Thanks, asshole. about 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android
Flowers drunk so good when I'm smell. about 7 hours ago via web
Take Twitter literally and you'll be so much smarter and happier. about 7 hours ago via web
Thanks for being an escape from reality. Shit has only gotten much worse, but at least I'm not thinking about it even more. about 8 hours ago via web
I frequently get RTd by people with few to no followers. Feels good just the same. about 8 hours ago via web
Look, you can interpret "I'm fucked in the head" however you want. Just don't say I didn't fucking tell you. about 8 hours ago via web
@overdatop_ Good mornin', sugar. :) Hope you have a kick ass day... xo about 8 hours ago via web in reply to overdatop_
By the way....Pop-Tarts and vodka are fucking delicious. about 8 hours ago via web
@shaggykwb LOL...sends me outta this world. ;) Mmmm. :D about 8 hours ago via web in reply to shaggykwb
Sorry if I can't get into your "sexy" tweet to me while I'm lookin' at you hold your kid. 0_o about 8 hours ago via web
'Everything She Wants' played and I had to fucking fight my daughter that he's a man. "No, that's a woman".."No. He does like dick, though" about 8 hours ago via web

Name Lara (not Laura)
Location *ATX* Sarcasm St.
Web http://favstar.fm...
Bio YAYS: Music,FUNNY folks,intelligent bullshit NAYS: racists,idiots, pedophiles,mayo.Girly tomboy,sometimes witty,inappropriate, crass,drunk.Im pretty fkin cool.