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LarryKingVegas

  1. I think Sarah Palin has a third boob. Until I see her topless I will continue to believe that.
  2. Drunk again. But doing my show anyway. Shows starts in two minutes. My guest? Captain Morgan. Ha! Join me for drinks at Dino's.
  3. I'm working on my 5th cocktail. No show tonight. Air a repeat. Show the one where I rub coco butter on the legs of Loni Anderson. Suck toes
  4. Still at Dino's. Tonite's show: Still trying to find out who the hell Clint Holmes is and why we would care if we did know. Plus your calls.
  5. Still at Dino's. Never left. Bloody Mary's for everyone! What the hell. Sing SIng, my man servant, can give me a sponge bath at the bar.
  6. RT - Get Hundreds of new followers FREE - http://alturl.com/bukx
  7. Heading to Dino's. Sing Sing, my man servant, showed up. Wish he would learn English so cab drivers can drive him home to the correct house.
  8. Woke up! Nice nap. Sing Sing, my man servant, is still missing. Wait. This isn't my bed. Where am I, damn it?
  9. Albertsons' Shoppers Reward Card. Don't have one. Never! They ask if I have one and I tell them I could buy this store out from under them.
  10. Lou Gehrig. What incurable disease is left that could be named after me? I want a good one. Help keep my memory alive.
  11. Woke up. My bones hurt. Heavy night of dreaming. Jugs. Big water jugs. Lulu, my fluffy white dog, is licking my toes. Cocktails, damn it!
  12. Peppermint. I like saying that word. Merv Griffin had the kind of bones in his body that could predict a change in weather. Time for Dino's!
  13. When I think of America I am reminded of the great Richard Simmons. Richard Burton was British so I am not reminded of him.
  14. Powerful drug found - in MJ's house. I wonder if he shared. Or, if he was like one of these selfish pricks that kept it all to themselves.
  15. What would Jesus do today? Wave the USA flag? Still in bath. Sing Sing, my man servant, left to shop for Mr. Bubble.
  16. It's July 4th. RED, WHITE & BLUE. Mix Rose wine, milk and DeKuyper Island Blue Pucker Sweet and Sour Schnapps Liqueur. An American drink.
  17. Ever have a drink with mustard in it? Does it matter? Not if there is enough gin in the glass. Sing Sing, my man servant, washing me in tub.
  18. My man servant, Sing Sing, is with me at Dino's. He said fireworks were invented in his country. I told him so was dry cleaning.
  19. At Dino's. CNN is on. They tell me I work there. Really? I said the only thing I want to work is that tall blond that just walked in.
  20. BREAKING NEWS: Lost film legend Burt Reynolds phone number. Anyone have it? I'll call Sally Field. Anyone have her number?