LRBpersonals
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Misunderstood homeopathic practitioner (M, 38). Anything involving hands requires my lawyer to be present. Box no. 7836.
10:33 AM Nov 27th
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Commit your fondest memories to tape. Then discard them all, you harlot – I should be all you need. Jealous, paranoid nut-case (M, 58).
9:49 AM Nov 27th
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You: brunette, long legs, 25-30, drop-dead gorgeous. Me: 4’10”, the looks of Herve Villechaize, an odour of wheat. No returns, no refunds.
9:21 AM Nov 27th
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Dinner’s on me. Gap-toothed F, 32. WLTM M to 35 with permanent supply of Wet Ones. Box no. 6735.
9:18 AM Nov 27th
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If you live in a care-home where access to the bath hoist is determined by a monthly rotation schedule, write to flaky 72-year old M.
9:16 AM Nov 27th
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Wiltshire troll with Stig of the Dump influences (M, 56) WLTM special lady willing to compromise in certain lifestyle choices.
9:14 AM Nov 27th
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This ad is a fake. Just like the man who placed it. Deny nothing, regret all, but live to fight again with phenomologically ashamed M (32).
10:37 AM Nov 24th
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Wipe that smile off your face. Ex-UCL classics reader, now kid’s entertainer (F, 32, hates cats). WLTM educated, cynical trampolinist.
10:33 AM Nov 24th
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Boris Johnson be mine! Gay fisherman tired of the cod wars (62) ready to lay down his net for churlish-looking gent of the Tory peripheries.
7:43 AM Nov 24th
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My ideal woman is a man. Sorry, mother. Box no 3682.
6:11 AM Nov 24th
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Bitter Amazon reviewer: ‘1 star – I’ve had more fun operating on my own cataracts'. M, 43, holed-up at home with chicken pox.
6:10 AM Nov 24th
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Face in the crowd. Not her, left a bit, down. . . That’s me: impish, vivacious twenties F, unwisely overlooked. WLTM Baudelarian flâneur.
5:53 AM Nov 24th
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If the LRB had a crossword, my name would be one of the answers. Undeservedly obscure poet WLTM responsive F. First out of the hat wins £5.
5:52 AM Nov 24th
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Look like Charlize Theron? Like the Cure? Live in Ipswich? M, 43, seeks romance in what was briefly England's second city (1450-1510).
6:13 PM Nov 23rd
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Deus ex machina wants underconfident, 30ish non-believer (F) with great legs. No flakes or born-agains. I’ve only one pair of hands.
5:56 PM Nov 23rd
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Dizzy historian (M, 54) seeks F for whom the terms ‘good times’, ‘tracking device’ and ‘A&E’ aren’t a million miles away from each other.
5:50 PM Nov 23rd
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I wrote this ad to rebuke my rivals, undermine my critics, and fill the hearts of my followers with the love they deserve. Kevin, 46.
7:32 AM Nov 23rd
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This ad was constructed specifically to attract the exactly right sort of person by utilising the very subtle tenets of Feng Shui. F, 52.
7:35 AM Nov 19th
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If we meet it mustn’t conflict with my community service obligations. Edgy F (51), WLTM M with stuff to do for 90 hours over the next month.
7:32 AM Nov 19th
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Science has proven that I am the man for you (41, likes to be referred to as ‘Wing Commander’ in the bedroom). Box no. 3501.
1:19 PM Nov 18th
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- Name LRB Personals
- Location Island of the Damned
- Web http://www.lrb.co.uk
- Bio Lust-weary debacles from busy-handed book dorks.
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