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KevinFuckinRudd

  1. Ruddock: You can vote him out alright, but you can't stop his undead form haunting the halls of Parliament. 8:47 PM May 7th from web
  2. Thought I might have had swine flu, but turns out I just accidentally inhaled some of Ruddock's corpse dust. Goddamn. 8:42 PM May 7th from web
  3. In order to combat the deadly swine flu menace, I am personally quadrupling my bacon input. Do your part, Australia. 8:44 PM Apr 27th from web
  4. Fuck, still haven't got my Rudd money yet. I don't know who the PM is around here but he needs to sort his shit out. 8:28 PM Apr 27th from web
  5. Last time a hostie failed me, I drop-kicked them into the turbine. This time I let them off with a warning, and suddenly I'm the bad guy. 9:44 PM Apr 6th from web
  6. Turns out his approval rating is just one of the many things @TurnbullMalcolm can't get up. If you know what I mean. 9:25 PM Apr 6th from web
  7. Over in the UK. They say those Royal Guards aren't supposed to move, but I tried to catch one to keep at Kirribilli and he fucking legged it 12:07 AM Mar 31st from web
  8. Hoping Obama doesn't check under the bed in the guest suite. All that antique shit in the White House is replicas anyway, right? 11:32 PM Mar 30th from web
  9. Flew over Mt. Rushmore on my way to see my bro-bama. I reckon with a few good chisel hits on ol' Roosevelt, Mt. Ruddmore is good to go. 6:29 PM Mar 23rd from web
  10. Just got one of my Labro's to snap this new publicity shot of me. Check this shit out, ladies: http://twitpic.com/27k67/full 11:53 PM Mar 17th from web
  11. I hope Joe Hockey's pooch likes prime beef, cos' that dog is about to become $900 richer. If you know what I mean. 9:53 PM Mar 17th from web
  12. Still fucked from last night's St. Paddie's bender. Thought I saw a leprechaun, but it was just Gillard throwing up in the bushes. Crazy. 9:35 PM Mar 17th from web
  13. Obama rang me last night to tell me my package is looking really good. Can't wait to show him in person at G20. 8:20 PM Mar 15th from web
  14. Some are saying I scared Costello off Twitter. Idiots. You can't scare Costello, only hold him at bay with a circle of salt. He'll return. 12:11 AM Mar 13th from web
  15. Come off it @GerardHenderson. Last time I produced my boner fide, I ended up with more paternity issues than fuckin' Tony Abbott 11:20 PM Mar 12th from web
  16. Can't help but notice I haven't been invited onto @triplejHack's Fake Twitter Parliament. Probably because I'm THE REAL DEAL 9:38 PM Mar 12th from web
  17. It's okay to give stimulus payments to old people, but wrong to give them to dead people? Just cutting out the middle man. 9:38 PM Mar 12th from web
  18. It'll be good to face a proper Libby leader like Costello again. It's just not Question Time without the overwhelming reek of brimstone. 7:54 PM Mar 10th from web
  19. Fuck off @turnbullmalcolm with your amendments. The people gave me a mandate, so step aside or you'll be going on a man-date. With my fist. 7:36 PM Mar 10th from web
  20. Also, @wayneswan that wasn't a shredder mate, that was a woodchipper. Toni would never have divorced you on her own. 7:18 PM Mar 9th from web