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KatyFeggins

  1. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.
  3. "Teacher: If 1 1=2 and 2 2=4, what is 4 4? Pupil: That's not fair!You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
  4. Computers are not intelligent.They only think they are.
  5. People keep telling me I'm beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.
  6. Will is character in action.
  7. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
  8. Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
  9. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
  10. Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?
  11. People have been known to achieve more as a result of working with others than against them.
  12. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
  13. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  14. Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.
  15. Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.
  16. "Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for a spell."
  17. Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back. Will: Pity it's not on her head.
  18. How can you spell chilly with two letters? IC (icy) .
  19. Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.
  20. How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess).