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JoshWay

  1. Please don't tell me my baby is "so alert" without also giving an assessment of her mass and opacity.
  2. About to watch "Another Year." I'm giving it eight minutes to make with the Smash Mouth or I'm gonna bail.
  3. Thought I was listening to the Social Network soundtrack but thank God it was just tinnitus.
  4. Local organic grocer hosting seminar with “Certified Thriver.” Guess “World’s Best Aunt” invited too much scrutiny.
  5. Spraying weeds is pretty boring unless you think of it as Genocide: The Home Game.
  6. Defying all expectation, here is a photograph of my baby. twitter.com/JoshWay/status…
  7. "It's worse than we previously imagined." - Character in X-Men First Class whose mutation is adding unnecessary words to simple sentences.
  8. One day you will be called to account for what you did to "Hallelujah" and "Live and Let Die," Shrek franchise. #AnimationEschatology
  9. Could not find a simple black eye patch at Party City. I feel like human civilization has failed me. What was all that progress for?
  10. Someone should write kid-friendly versions of those ironic adult children's books, so everyone can enjoy them!
  11. Baby has pulled her monitor into her crib, and cute yet horrifyingly loud sounds are ringing through the house.
  12. Tech guys upgraded me to Word 2010. Now when I click on a 25kb doc all technology within four blocks freezes for half an hour.
  13. By the time I get through the marketing layer of a Blu-ray I can't remember the title and am disappointed it doesn't star Kevin James.
  14. @brotherzee And the hat didn't even fit!
  15. Target guy said "Wow, great hat!" Chose not to tell him I was purchasing it to make a puppet look like a douche.
  16. Fashion-wise, my baby does a whole lot with what is essentially Hitler hair.