JonnyWhiteguy
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How long before Lou Dobbs is shouting about illegal aliens pissing in his bushes or whatever over on Fox News?
about 17 hours ago
from web
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Do I want Modern Warfare 2? I've got a preorder sitting across the damn street and I just can't bring myself to care enough.
6:15 PM Nov 10th
from web
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Woman sat next to me on the train, started reading Dean Koontz. Smelled like a diaper in a flaming tire. Was it the woman or the book?
5:07 PM Nov 10th
from txt
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- It's a traveling book - it's goin' to Virginia now.
9:53 AM Nov 10th
from TwitPic
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And I refuse to accept that a four-year-old has Asperger's unless he's written a forty page wiki entry on the orange Hungry Hungry Hippo.
12:05 PM Nov 7th
from mobile web
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Holy fuck, I just sat in someone's nail clippings.
5:08 PM Nov 6th
from txt
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Wait wait wait - Syracuse lost to Le Moyne? At basketball? Christ, I'm going to start telling people I went to University of Phoenix.
9:00 PM Nov 5th
from web
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"MATSUI!" as it turns out, is fun as Hell to yell loudly.
6:58 PM Nov 4th
from web
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I like that the general response to my last tweet wasn't EWOK MARCH? YOU NERD but ZUNE? REALLY? WOW.
9:41 AM Nov 3rd
from mobile web
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Gird yourself for a lame sentence: I just put the original Ewok celebration march on my Zune. NO PART OF THAT IS UNLAME.
9:06 PM Nov 2nd
from web
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@ That was the first time I've laughed at a WWE 'comedy' segment in probably ever.
8:22 PM Nov 2nd
from web
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Hey, McAfee! You can't connect to the internet? HOW AM I ON TWITTER, THEN, you stupid virus-detecting bitch?
10:50 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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'Skins are in a full-on War Games situation - the only winning move is not to play.
12:26 PM Nov 1st
from txt
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If I had money, SO MUCH of it would be spent at Williams Sonoma, my God.
11:33 AM Nov 1st
from txt
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"Are you dressed as a hobo?" "Why? The beard? Are you dressed as a bitch?"
6:33 PM Oct 31st
from txt
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"Oh no! I need a costume! I've got it! I'll dress as a whore, draw whiskers on my face and say I'm a cat!"
3:47 PM Oct 31st
from txt
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Today ALSO marks the second anniversary of me somehow losing a beard-growing contest, history's second-greatest tragedy.
7:01 AM Oct 31st
from txt
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Today is the 8th anniversary of the day Dawson's dad was killed by ice cream and also a drunk.
4:38 AM Oct 31st
from txt
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I can't tell you how many friendly foreign ports I've "accidentally" "fired upon" while "cleaning my weapon."
4:54 PM Oct 30th
from txt
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BEST HALLOWEEN SONG: Theme from THE BLOB. NO DEBATE.
9:51 AM Oct 30th
from mobile web
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