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johncmayer

  1. Hopping on the tour bus to San Diego. It's like a Greyhound except you're not allowed to poop in your seat. about 5 hours ago from Twittelator
  2. Note to self: a VHS dub of the 1988 Playboy Playmate Video Calendar is not an actual working calendar. But April looks open. 11:33 PM Dec 27th from Twittelator
  3. Sure, it's called "My Entire Catalog." RT @brokentoo Could you write a song about how much it hurts to live at times? 11:32 PM Dec 27th from Twittelator
  4. I need to get back into the gym. I'm all for having boobs against my chest but not when they're mine. 8:54 PM Dec 27th from Twittelator
  5. Did you see Strabbock's pass to Yerkin? No frigging way that cleared the alligator pit. #IWantToTweetAboutSportsToo 5:23 PM Dec 27th from Twittelator
  6. No matter how many times I try to get it right, I still mess it up. It's MICKEY Rooney that was in The Wrestler. Got it. 1:31 AM Dec 27th from Twittelator
  7. I'm doing my best, asshole. RT @koreantomcruise Why does every irish pub have an acoustic guitar playing hack on saturday nights? 9:42 PM Dec 26th from Twittelator
  8. These are people who were hanging out in AMSTERDAM and said "you know what? It's time I get myself to DETROIT." 6:26 PM Dec 26th from web
  9. Why would you want to target a plane going from Amsterdam to Detroit? You know there's cool-ass people on that plane. 6:25 PM Dec 26th from web
  10. http://bit.ly/811LJt In defense of James Cameron. 4:40 PM Dec 26th from web
  11. RT @cwm76 Hey, does a gallon jug of Wet Platinum that has less than three ounces left pass muster with the TSA for carry-on? 10:43 AM Dec 26th from Twittelator
  12. RT @TeamKatz I've finally made peace with 2009. Let go of the distractions & given myself the gift of closure...bring it, 2010! 10:22 AM Dec 26th from Twittelator
  13. Holiday typo: "give my beast to your lovely wife!" 4:55 PM Dec 25th from Twittelator
  14. http://bit.ly/7WIRB1 Cakes on Christmas. 3:17 PM Dec 25th from web
  15. Today is the day that Peter Billingsley isn't a super successful Hollywood producer, but Ralphie. I wonder how he feels about that. 2:11 PM Dec 25th from Twittelator
  16. I love mass texts: Dear person of unspecified meaning, Merry Christmas! Looking forward to seeing you at a later date! 2:02 PM Dec 25th from web
  17. Cousin Eddie Griswold!! RT @cnnbrk Passenger sets off firecrackers on a Northwest flight as it lands in Detroit. http://bit.ly/8eIuq2 1:58 PM Dec 25th from web
  18. Look, when I'm playing charades and the hint is 'movie,' '4 words,' I know it's going to Glen Gary Glen Ross. Don't act surprised. 5:22 AM Dec 25th from web
  19. I wish I could take all you lonely hearts to a movie tonight. Maybe some Chinese food. Nothing crazy. 6:50 PM Dec 24th from Twittelator
  20. Sending a heartfelt Merry Christmas to those who feel loneliness this time of year. You're not alone. Hang in there. 6:31 PM Dec 24th from Twittelator