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JoeBerkowitz

  1. "Fleet Week! Gonna try my luck with all these superfoxy female sailors!" --some bro, inevitably 2:48 PM May 25th via Twitter for Android
  2. "I don't wanna be that guy, but..." --that guy 9:43 AM May 25th via web
  3. @BradOFarrell Assuming you've seen already? joblo.com/movie-news/coo… 8:52 AM May 25th via web
  4. Good news, you guys! Was just writing about the anniversary of the Golden Gate Bridge's "erection" & it turns out I am a very small child. 8:31 AM May 25th via web
  5. When adult friends constantly express themselves through .gifs: [.gif of a monkey in a cowboy hat making a face like, "whaaaat!"] 6:48 AM May 25th via Twitter for Android
  6. "You can call me Todd. My *father* is Mr. T" --Mr. T's kid, probably 8:54 PM May 24th via web
  7. Hell must hath at least *some* fury like a woman scorned, yes? Or does nothing bad ever happen to women in hell? So many (great) questions! 4:19 PM May 24th via Twitter for Android
  8. That it exists is disappointing. RT @Grantland33 Watch the Abraham Lincoln Red Band trailer. It does not disappoint. es.pn/JfZTFE 2:26 PM May 24th via web
  9. New York is a melting pot. Specifically, it's The Melting Pot, North America's most lucrative fondue concern. 12:26 PM May 24th via web
  10. @jessmisener gtfo 11:17 AM May 24th via web in reply to jessmisener
  11. I will have you know that I'm waving *and* drowning, thank you very much. Now go tell the others what you've seen here today. 10:18 AM May 24th via web
  12. Wanna see the "turning over a new leaf" montage where a Juggalo solemnly scrubs off clown makeup, pours whole cache of Faygo down tub, cries 7:06 AM May 24th via web
  13. Will someone PLEASE make a .gif of the driver seat alien from Prometheus with some Deal With It shades & a caption ("Picture me rollin'")? 5:29 PM May 23rd via web
  14. Sneaking up behind a woman and literally "sweeping her off her feet" will scare her just as much as doing so with a series of grand gestures 4:15 PM May 23rd via web
  15. "Less than thrilled" could mean anything, because feelings aren't math. That said, let me know if you're ever "divisible by nonplussed." 1:27 PM May 23rd via web
  16. I just used the word 'milieu' in casual conversation, if anyone wants to be brothers from another mothers with me. 11:51 AM May 23rd via web
  17. Buying band-aids before u need them is what's known as "stinkin thinkin" & I want no parts of that. Unrelated: can I borrow a huge band-aid? 9:02 AM May 23rd via Twitter for Android
  18. Wanna start selling reverse fake-IDs to people who wish to convince bouncers they're just mature for their age. 5:29 AM May 23rd via web
  19. Sorry girl, but the moment I notice that birds sudden appear every time you're near, relationship's over & I will burn down your witchhouse. 6:18 PM May 22nd via web
  20. There has literally never been a band that sounds like Beach House, and no other band has evolved before our ears like they have either. 4:16 PM May 22nd via Twitter for Android
  • Name Joe Berkowitz
  • Location Brooklyn, NYC
  • Web http://www.anfscu...
  • Bio Writer @ Fast Company. Former book editor. Probably not evil? Read me in The Awl, Rolling Stone, Salon, McSweeney's, etc. Warning: tweets may contain dick jokes
147 Following 1,336 Followers 49 Listed