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Jim_Hamilton

  1. I'm sorry. I know how much you homos like horse racing, but this is the Breeders' Cup.about 23 hours ago from TwitterBerry
  2. My biggest pet peeve is when credit card commercials show the card being scanned rightside-up.12:10 PM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
  3. I just watched "The Brothers Bloom" under a mountain of sleeping cats.12:42 AM Nov 7th from web
  4. Baby step to the liquor store.9:52 PM Nov 6th from web
  5. Most people don't cry during "What About Bob?" but most people don't watch it alone on a Friday night.9:40 PM Nov 6th from web
  6. Anybody who slides into first deserves diarrhea.2:15 PM Nov 6th from web
  7. @Just_Alison You mean "get off" the plane, right? You really have to be clear with @atencio.1:29 PM Nov 6th from web
  8. No matter how many ties I pretend to look at, it is obvious to everyone in Nordstrom's that I came in only to take a shit.1:17 PM Nov 6th from web
  9. My ears are burning. I think somebody's talking about oh Jesus, my hair is on fire again.1:04 PM Nov 6th from web
  10. Whenever I see a Hasidic Jew press the button to cross the street I mutter, "The Jews control the crosswalk." It's fun!9:48 AM Nov 6th from web
  11. The cats are so excited that I'm awake early that they've decided to kill each other. Welcome to the Terrordome.8:32 AM Nov 6th from web
  12. .@Just_Alison, @robdelaney and I shared a table in Beverly Hills tonight. We're pretty much the Rat Pack of Twitter.12:51 AM Nov 6th from web
  13. The currency in Japan is headless, upside-down hula hoopers? I'm rich! RT @BarCodeHair I got paid ¥10,000 to model t-shirts for 15mins.12:18 AM Nov 6th from web
  14. Ever since I learned that Hamburger Mary's is a gay bar, I assume every establishment in West Hollywood is. Tasty's Donuts. Ace Hardware.11:02 PM Nov 5th from web
  15. Sign reads "Laundry room closes @ 11." Removing her clothes from the dryer at 10:59, she notices me loading the washer. "You a narc?" I ask.12:02 AM Nov 5th from web
  16. I received this text message: "You shouldn't beat yourself up over last night's set." Shit, I wasn't until now.11:52 PM Nov 4th from web
  17. RT @alexblagg: Clear eyes, full hearts, infinite financial resources, can't lose!11:47 PM Nov 4th from web
  18. By this time next week, I will have a first place fantasy football team to hold me at night.3:55 PM Nov 4th from web
  19. Art is not created in a vacuum, except my Wet/Dryorama.10:48 AM Nov 4th from web
  20. You could read how I feel about tonight in my manifesto, if I would ever finish it.2:02 AM Nov 4th from web