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JerseyGirlinTX

  1. @dbizzle69 Thank you dear!
  2. If you're a guy and you're wearing skinny jeans, at best, I might mistake you for an attractive woman.
  3. Last night's party includedd the recreational use of a taser. Sometimes my friends worry me.
  4. Oy.
  5. Nothing says happy like buzzed before 7 pm.
  6. Does "asshole" count as a nickname?
  7. The most exciting past of my day so far was an egg mcmuffin. Actually it was pretty fucking awesome.
  8. I don't really want to go to this bar, but I feel morally obligated.
  9. Really hungry. Will have to venture outside the office.
  10. @dbizzle69 @ovnio Poets tonight?
  11. If you try to convince me that Britney Spears is a great musician, I'm not going to take anything you say seriously from now on. Ever.
  12. The 99 cent store sells condoms! Fortunately they also sell home pregnancy tests and wire coat hangers.
  13. ugh too early to be at work
  14. It seems unfortunate that the hugely swollen boobs phase of my cycle coincides with the IF YOU TRY TO TOUCH MY BOOBS I WILL KILL YOU phase.
  15. Nothing like showing up at work to find an email informing you that there are two cases of swine flu at your university.
  16. Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breath and to love you... Those times are generally between meals.
  17. Preferably an amber ale and a brunette with a nice ass.
  18. Just finished another dissertation chapter. Need a beer and some oral stat.
  19. @abigvictory From Dusk til Dawn
  20. Fuck t-shirts. I want my tweets printed on beer koozies.