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JerseyGirlinTX

@dbizzle69 Thank you dear!12:25 PM Jul 9th from web in reply to dbizzle69
If you're a guy and you're wearing skinny jeans, at best, I might mistake you for an attractive woman.12:23 PM Jul 9th from web
Last night's party includedd the recreational use of a taser. Sometimes my friends worry me.11:41 AM Jul 5th from web
Oy.2:05 PM Jul 3rd from web
Nothing says happy like buzzed before 7 pm.5:26 PM Jul 2nd from web
Does "asshole" count as a nickname?8:32 PM Jul 1st from web
The most exciting past of my day so far was an egg mcmuffin. Actually it was pretty fucking awesome.8:55 AM Jun 26th from web
I don't really want to go to this bar, but I feel morally obligated.9:04 PM Jun 21st from web
Really hungry. Will have to venture outside the office.11:40 AM Jun 20th from web
@dbizzle69 @ovnio Poets tonight?11:24 AM Jun 19th from web in reply to dbizzle69
If you try to convince me that Britney Spears is a great musician, I'm not going to take anything you say seriously from now on. Ever.11:14 AM Jun 19th from web
The 99 cent store sells condoms! Fortunately they also sell home pregnancy tests and wire coat hangers.3:44 PM Jun 15th from web
ugh too early to be at work5:25 AM Jun 15th from web
It seems unfortunate that the hugely swollen boobs phase of my cycle coincides with the IF YOU TRY TO TOUCH MY BOOBS I WILL KILL YOU phase.8:10 AM Jun 14th from web
Nothing like showing up at work to find an email informing you that there are two cases of swine flu at your university.8:20 AM Jun 12th from web
Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breath and to love you... Those times are generally between meals.5:23 PM Jun 11th from web
Preferably an amber ale and a brunette with a nice ass.5:16 PM Jun 4th from web
Just finished another dissertation chapter. Need a beer and some oral stat.5:15 PM Jun 4th from web
@abigvictory From Dusk til Dawn9:19 AM Jun 4th from web in reply to abigvictory
Fuck t-shirts. I want my tweets printed on beer koozies.8:32 PM Jun 3rd from web