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JerryThomas

  1. You should never run away from your problems. Unless your problem is, like, you're being chased by a bear. about 8 hours ago via web
  2. @elzbeth I think you have your thumb on the scale. about 10 hours ago via web in reply to elzbeth
  3. @EveryTweet_Ever I am amused by each and every 1.1210003 of them. about 10 hours ago via web in reply to EveryTweet_Ever
  4. On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at rating things? about 11 hours ago via Favstar.FM
  5. I guess if I want to live vicariously I'm just going to have to do it myself. 5:43 AM May 26th via web
  6. @born_to_pun Why, shucks, ma'am. Gwarsh! 9:22 PM May 24th via web in reply to born_to_pun
  7. I am still haunted by that one Oreo cookie that licked me back. 9:10 PM May 24th via web
  8. The current temperature is 74 degrees, but it actually feels like I've lost my will to live. 8:16 PM May 24th via web
  9. Some Belgian gangsters just made me a waffle I couldn't refuse. 8:20 PM May 23rd via web
  10. @RexHuppke We'll get over it. 8:13 PM May 23rd via Favstar.FM in reply to RexHuppke
  11. If it weren't for Canada, Planet Earth would have a whole lot of extra hockey pucks. 7:57 PM May 23rd via web
  12. White people invented square dancing because when we dance we need someone to stand there and give us instructions. 5:35 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  13. Damn! You just started reading this tweet and now it's already over! 9:11 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  14. You may not have suspected that he had a wooden leg, but I always had him pegged. 4:45 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  15. The passive voice is hated by me. 1:45 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  16. Fortunately, I am able to look past your superficial flaws to see your inner beauty. And also, more flaws. 7:00 AM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  17. Instead of lucid dreaming, perhaps some of you should focus on being lucid while you're awake. 8:51 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  18. "One of these days, Bang, Zoom!" ~Sound Effects Nostradamus 8:06 PM May 21st via Favstar.FM
  19. @RuprechtReal My apologies. 7:27 PM May 21st via web in reply to RuprechtReal