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JephKelley

  1. I've found some super deals on electronics and home goods this morning by robbing the houses of people who went out shopping at 4 a.m. about 5 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. @apelad Wow! They're all awesome, but Flash is my favorite avatar yet. So clever. about 8 hours ago from Tweetie
  3. "Brussels sprouts? You've never made Brussels sprouts. I hate Brussels sprouts." I never thought I'd have to defriend my own mom. about 23 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. I wonder what the nation's hip-hop award winners are thankful for. I mean, besides God. 6:57 AM Nov 26th from web
  5. @AndyJenksNBC12 Glad to hear (and see) that you're OK. I'm sure it was an interesting phone call with your wife. Happy Thanksgiving. 6:44 AM Nov 26th from web in reply to AndyJenksNBC12
  6. I'm thankful for those who serve needy people on Thanksgiving so that I can eat and drink and not have to worry about doing stuff like that. 6:25 PM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  7. Heading to my in-laws' house for dinner. Oh no I meant my girlfriend's parents' place somebody call an ambulance please hurry. 12:19 PM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  8. Women always complain about their lady problems. They don't carry wallets. Sit on it wrong, and you cut blood flow to the leg. Hurts BAD. 9:48 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  9. Just logged onto qqq,giike,xom. Perhaps before delving any deeper into the Web I need to get my fingers back onto the home keys. 7:56 AM Nov 25th from web
  10. The turkey is going to be in a total Kobayashi Maru with me tomorrow. Did I do that right? Look shutup OK I just saw "Star Trek" last night. 6:52 AM Nov 25th from web
  11. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was when he worked as a magician's assistant and had to drag the disappearing box onto the stage. 8:46 AM Nov 24th from web
  12. In referring a pal to Pandora, I accidentally said "Panera." I hate making mistakes so I went with it, further extolling the You Pick Two®. 7:05 AM Nov 24th from web
  13. Told my girlfriend we couldn't hang out tonight because I'm super busy since, like, this Xbox game isn't going to just beat itself. 4:15 PM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  14. @rommiej Hey "Hey, 'hey, hey guy guy' guy" guy. 10:35 AM Nov 23rd from web in reply to rommiej
  15. Behind the times and signed up for Netflix. I did so on this thing I'd heard about called the World Wide Web, which seems like a neat-o fad. 9:36 AM Nov 23rd from web
  16. Going to a matinée movie. Not to be confused with a manatee movie, which wouldn't make sense unless the film happened to be about sea cows. 7:13 AM Nov 22nd from web
  17. Thanks for the birthday wishes. Which contain no money and are a stark reminder that I'm a year closer to the end of this hollow existence. 2:10 PM Nov 21st from web
  18. We're going on a picnic. In addition to sandwiches, I've packed heat just in case we run into any cartoon ants that try to steal our food. 8:54 AM Nov 21st from web
  19. Return of the Mack! I think my Mack is cracked! My Mack is bad! I need another Mack! I lost the reciept! Can I still get another Mack? 9:17 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  20. I wondered how I'd ditch this blood-splattered jacket, then I remembered that Coats for Kids charity, so problem solved. Some of it, anyway. 6:35 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie