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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
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India
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Jordan
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United States
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JediMindPrick

  1. Mothers are always one question from ruining your day. 2:53 PM Apr 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  2. Overheard a black guy asking the waitress for some crackers, so I stood up and yelled "THATS OUR WORD!" 2:51 PM Apr 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  3. If your bathroom sink looks like mine, you're disgusting and I'm a hypocrite. 2:50 PM Apr 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  4. "That's a wrap, everybody." -movie director identifying delicious food 1:19 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  5. Impress an Asian chick by treating her as an equal. 12:58 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Coworker just said "I need a thick black one." She was talking about a marker but I'm still reporting her to HR for sexual harassment. 12:56 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  7. When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder. 12:56 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  8. I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family. 12:54 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. volcano = glory hole for the Gods 12:53 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. Does Axe make a spray that smells like one of those soft pretzel stores at the mall? I'd use that daily. 12:51 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. We could power our entire office with the wind produced from my constant sighing. 12:51 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. When I was a kid the swear jar at my house was always empty because my sister was a goddamn fucking thief. 12:51 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. Obama could eat children alone under a bridge hunched over like Gollum in a thunder storm and he'd still be better than Bush. 12:48 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Seriously, get off the computer once in a while… smell the roses… volunteer… show your balls to a turtle… make a ham fort… 12:48 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. Before twitter, celebrities used to sit dead for months and months completely unnoticed. 12:48 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. I'm going to keep buying cats until one of them does something hilarious and makes me a YouTube millionaire. 12:13 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. “No, don't get up” - how I greet people in wheelchairs. 12:12 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone? 12:12 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and maybe Prince Charming just doesn't like whiny bitches? 12:11 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. My spirit animal is a parasite that swims up your pee hole and plants an egg sac using its hook-like barbs. 12:11 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name 'NuffSaid.
  • Location The Netherlands
  • Bio Aaahhh Twitter, never have so many said so much that mattered so little to so few.
12 Following 56 Followers 0 Listed
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