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Jasph

  1. Five minutes of pure 1973 joy. The vid's extraneous, my prose miscellaneous, but the song's extrazaneous. http://spulgenine.blogspot....
  2. 2 hrs in the hotel pool, "extreme vertical-launching" an 8yo into the air for subsequent "breakdance-submersion." I can barely lift my arms.
  3. Casino hotel wake-up service, 3 a.m.: two fatties in a shouting/shoving match in the hall & one slams the other into your door. #jackpotgut
  4. The parade balloon of my wife's pumpkin ravioli got loose! Oh, the butter-sage chaos! Same as turning into a skid--run TOWARD the balloon!
  5. Lo, I have exercised twice in 3 days. That's 2x more than in the previous 3 months, which is like ow hamstring sweatgasp shoulderthingy help
  6. Coffee. Sunday NY Times. *Köln Concert.* Daughter home for a week. 8yo laughing. Cat asleep on my wife's lap. Paradise. Fuck the hereafter.
  7. See "A Serious Man." Schrödinger's cat, stoners, Amy Landecker, a rabbi quoting Jefferson Airplane, possibly a dybbuk. What's not to like?
  8. 15 min. to download Esquire's augmented reality gizmo, but it says I don't have a webcam. Oh? Then what's this I'm mooning, motherfuckers?
  9. Chefs, we asked you to do in a few hours what usually takes days to pull off. Please stab yourselves with forks as we deride your efforts.
  10. Evidently, Harper's magazine never saw the Paris Hilton tape, or they'd know sex with robots is old news. http://harpers.org/index/20...
  11. @awryone Happy bday. Sent a gift yesterday (via gmail, so I gotta ask: did you get it?). Requires assembly with parts neither of us has yet.
  12. This hifalutin' couchtard & his soliloquy on football aesthetics? I'd ice the guy, but the Lord hath fix'd His canon 'gainst self-slaughter.
  13. You can lead a kid to the correct anatomical nomenclature, but you can't make him call his penis anything other than "The Special Visitor."
  14. A goat plays the violin in the sky above our shtetl this morning. My asshole neighbor shakes his fist, yelling, "You got a lotta Chagall..."
  15. "There's a Manga in my Moleskine," said the doe-eyed demi-tween. "It monetized my narrative and mesmerized my spleen." #helloshitty
  16. @PlobRoz I must decline your challenge. As everyone knows, I'm conflict-averse. What? You say they don't know? Um, let's not argue about it.
  17. My kid's teacher is so great, I'd like to gay-marry him behind the school. Too bad neither of us is gay & behind the school is still Kansas.
  18. Pimped out the 8yo on a busy corner, busking with his djembe. Made $12 in 1 hr, then said his hands hurt. So does Daddy's job security, son.
  19. I'm on p. 21 of this script, p. 15 of this other one, and p. 8 of this other other one. Taken together, that's 44 pp. of secondactphobia.
  20. O, if I were John Keats, I’d write a moody ode to the roar of my neighbor’s leafblower at 6:45 a.m., then cough consumptively and die young.