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InstantFiction

  1. She started to date him. But it was not a start she wanted, because she could foresee the end.
  2. A paraglider vanished from North Carolina's Outer Banks. He was later found in Ireland. "It was the wind," he said. His wife was skeptical.
  3. Generals ordered planes to drop dead animals in terrorist camps to spread lethal diseases. "It's the next technology of warfare," they said.
  4. Edna was a big woman. She wept easily. "She is too big to be so fragile," we said. But we secretly grieved for her pain.
  5. When he invited her for a drink, her face became a closed door. When he asked again, it locked. Is this non-verbal communication? he asked.
  6. Jakov played the zither in a Viennese restaurant in New York. "Why not play in Vienna?" his wife asked. So he moved to Vienna with his tuba.
  7. She liked having men fall in love with her so she could reject them. It was her way of concealing from herself the emptiness within.
  8. "I want a ticket to Kiev." "No trains go there." "How can I get to Kiev?" "You can't from here." "Where do I go then?" "Somewhere else."
  9. 10,000 dead starfish lay on the beaches. "Pollution," some said. But Jenna said, "They fell from the sky, leaving us with starless nights."
  10. The door suddenly closed, leaving her on one side and me on the other. It did not lock, but we were never able to open it.
  11. Jenna praised the dinner. "It's an old family recipe," the hostess said. "I didn't know you were related to Betty Crocker," Jenna purred.
  12. She joined the rebels in the hills. He thought she could have found an easier way out -- maybe just a divorce.
  13. He was young and thought the future would be bright chrome. By the time he realized it wouldn't be, he was too old to mine a different ore.
  14. "Why have night-vision goggles?" she demanded of her neighbor. "To see at night," he said. "What are you looking at?" she asked. He smirked.
  15. He had E=mc2 tattooed on his right forearm. He thought it would attract women, especially intelligent women. It didn't.
  16. He's an expert at splitting: peas, infinitives, the difference, the check, seams. Sadly, there is no room in the New Economy for a splitter.
  17. "I know the Zen issue of one hand clapping," he said. "But what is the sound of one foot tap-dancing?" "Help! I can't get up," she said,
  18. He edged toward her in the bar:"We haven't met, but I know you by sight. I'd like to know you by touch." "I know you by smell," she said.
  19. "Give me 50 cents for a cup of coffee!" "You can't buy a cup of coffee for 50 cents!" "You're right. Then give me 10 dollars!"
  20. "What happens to pumpkins left from Halloween?" "They make pumpkin pies." "What do they do with all the pies?" "Throw them at politicians."