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InSoOutSo

  1. RIP Bob Zmuda. about 2 hours ago from web
  2. You know the picture of Ali yelling at Fraser to get up? While I sit here on the floor, I can't help but think that Jamesons is taunting me. about 2 hours ago from web
  3. Wife is doing the 24-hour fast for UNICEF. I'm eating barbecue ribs for breakfast. about 7 hours ago from web
  4. 3:43 am. Just me and the train horns. Yup. And the bleach smell. Mixed with ammonia. And the Jamesons. Mixed with Santa. about 14 hours ago from web
  5. If it had puke on it, I bleached it. Everything but the laundry. You know, don't want to lose my man card. Zest of lemon spruced it all up! about 14 hours ago from web
  6. Off to the bar to make some money. Same problem, different puke. about 21 hours ago from web
  7. Houston, we have toddler vomit. about 23 hours ago from txt
  8. A bear’s sense of smell is so acute that they can detect a scent from 20 miles away. I want to apologize to all the bears of my county. about 23 hours ago from web
  9. Sitting behind the President of Drakkar on the bus. 2:31 PM Nov 13th from txt
  10. I have some laxative brownies in the company refrigerator with my name on them. 12:21 PM Nov 13th from web
  11. Shooting a fish documentary with a Betacam, laughing at some wordplay. 11:06 AM Nov 13th from web
  12. I thought we got rid of Republican abortions in 2008. 10:47 AM Nov 13th from web
  13. Happy Birthday to a lot of you. I'm not very thoughtful. 8:43 AM Nov 13th from web
  14. Stupid heart murmur won't shut up. The tingling arm is nice, though. 8:37 AM Nov 13th from web
  15. Standing at the bus stop wearing all black. A girl is standing in my sunbeam, stealing my warmth. Somewhere, a calico sheds a tear for me. 1:38 PM Nov 12th from txt
  16. @gordonshumway I'm glad you're dating again. 1:13 PM Nov 12th from web in reply to gordonshumway
  17. She smiled, turned around and walked away. Given her toothy grin and ample hindquarter, it was evident that I wouldn't be able to trust her. 11:32 AM Nov 12th from web
  18. Shaving my son's head to honor the 250th anniversary of the Münchhausen moon landing. 11:03 AM Nov 12th from web
  19. @smartasshat BREAKING: Tyler Perry to replace Steven Tyler. 10:51 AM Nov 12th from web in reply to smartasshat
  20. My mouth is an orphanage for shitty Halloween candy. 10:46 AM Nov 12th from web