InSoOutSo
-
RIP Bob Zmuda.
about 2 hours ago
from web
-
You know the picture of Ali yelling at Fraser to get up? While I sit here on the floor, I can't help but think that Jamesons is taunting me.
about 2 hours ago
from web
-
Wife is doing the 24-hour fast for UNICEF. I'm eating barbecue ribs for breakfast.
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
3:43 am. Just me and the train horns. Yup. And the bleach smell. Mixed with ammonia. And the Jamesons. Mixed with Santa.
about 14 hours ago
from web
-
If it had puke on it, I bleached it. Everything but the laundry. You know, don't want to lose my man card. Zest of lemon spruced it all up!
about 14 hours ago
from web
-
Off to the bar to make some money. Same problem, different puke.
about 21 hours ago
from web
-
Houston, we have toddler vomit.
about 23 hours ago
from txt
-
A bear’s sense of smell is so acute that they can detect a scent from 20 miles away. I want to apologize to all the bears of my county.
about 23 hours ago
from web
-
Sitting behind the President of Drakkar on the bus.
2:31 PM Nov 13th
from txt
-
I have some laxative brownies in the company refrigerator with my name on them.
12:21 PM Nov 13th
from web
-
Shooting a fish documentary with a Betacam, laughing at some wordplay.
11:06 AM Nov 13th
from web
-
I thought we got rid of Republican abortions in 2008.
10:47 AM Nov 13th
from web
-
Happy Birthday to a lot of you. I'm not very thoughtful.
8:43 AM Nov 13th
from web
-
Stupid heart murmur won't shut up. The tingling arm is nice, though.
8:37 AM Nov 13th
from web
-
Standing at the bus stop wearing all black. A girl is standing in my sunbeam, stealing my warmth. Somewhere, a calico sheds a tear for me.
1:38 PM Nov 12th
from txt
-
@ I'm glad you're dating again.
1:13 PM Nov 12th
from web
in reply to gordonshumway
-
She smiled, turned around and walked away. Given her toothy grin and ample hindquarter, it was evident that I wouldn't be able to trust her.
11:32 AM Nov 12th
from web
-
Shaving my son's head to honor the 250th anniversary of the Münchhausen moon landing.
11:03 AM Nov 12th
from web
-
@ BREAKING: Tyler Perry to replace Steven Tyler.
10:51 AM Nov 12th
from web
in reply to smartasshat
-
My mouth is an orphanage for shitty Halloween candy.
10:46 AM Nov 12th
from web
|
|