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InSoOutSo

  1. Once again, my wife pulled the long end of the wishboner. about 5 hours ago from web
  2. Making a 22lb Jamesons for Thanksgiving. about 24 hours ago from web
  3. ""Stirring the Egg Nog"" with my boner. 1:28 PM Nov 25th from web
  4. Technically, I taught your mom how to do that to a turkey. 12:02 PM Nov 25th from web
  5. Never buy underwear on a Black Friday. I ended up with 50% off my ego. 10:00 AM Nov 25th from web
  6. @erikprice Ask her what we should do about the economy. Test her in the downtime! 8:10 AM Nov 25th from web in reply to erikprice
  7. 26 more days until California. Say it fast enough and it sounds like, "Om mani padme hum." 7:38 AM Nov 25th from web
  8. @abigvictory It's relieving to see that 1,000,000+ follower count hasn't dressed up your tweets. 6:04 AM Nov 25th from web in reply to abigvictory
  9. You call it a five day weekend, I call it five days without you in my office. 5:45 AM Nov 25th from web
  10. I had a dream about Xzibit. 5:12 AM Nov 25th from web
  11. My Dell is a brick...house. 4:50 AM Nov 25th from web
  12. I'm prescribing @vmarinelli two milligrams of Happy Birthday. 3:48 PM Nov 24th from web
  13. Ever stand at the urinal and wonder when you are going to die, only to remember, "Oh, right, I took a multivitamin." 2:29 PM Nov 24th from web
  14. Setting my alarm to order leather binders from a French boutique in Switzerland as soon as it opens. Your job is invalid. 2:23 PM Nov 24th from web
  15. Dance like Lucinda Dickey is watching. 12:43 PM Nov 24th from web
  16. After the third Berenstain Bears book you can tell that Papa Bear grew a lot of weed. 12:39 PM Nov 24th from web
  17. I forgot my phone this morning. Today has been magical and HEY DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? 12:26 PM Nov 24th from web
  18. So...this is the rapture. Yup. How are you guys doing? 10:39 AM Nov 24th from web
  19. Do I want golf stuff for Christmas? Knickers, please. 7:14 AM Nov 24th from web
  20. Salsa farts are dancing out of my butt. It's all in the hips. 6:59 AM Nov 24th from web