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ImAVeronica

  1. It's sweet how you lie to me in an attempt to make me feel normal.
  2. And because I don't feel like doing damage control later, I'll just tell you now that I was kidding. Feel better? Good.
  3. Damn, girl. Why you have to go and get all serious? We liked you better when you were always drunk.
  4. There's nothing like attending a workshop for parents of difficult children. Especially when you realize yours really ISN'T.
  5. @wifeoftj Oh no.
  6. I miss trans fat.
  7. I love my kid but I also miss the days when he couldn't walk or talk. And he fit in my purse.
  8. I'm no good at unfollowing. Or breaking up. I prefer to wage low-grade wars of attrition.
  9. @madbull4 Birkenstocks are sandals that look like something Jesus would wear.
  10. @madbull4 I really can't tell the difference anymore.
  11. I haven't actually worn a pair of Birkenstocks since 2003, but that doesn't make me any less of a hippie pacifist.
  12. SHH! My ovaries have something to say.
  13. RT @lisarahmat It's as if Americans have forgotten that today is 9/11.
  14. I used to have lovely penmanship. Then I traded it for being able to type faster than I think, but oh hey apparently that's not an upgrade.
  15. Snowy-tressed Earth-mother-princess Maypole-dancers can't fathom why I want to dye my grey. I'm looking at you, Mom.
  16. Part-time love is highly underrated.
  17. @Spinchange Heh. <3
  18. You may think I'm Tumblr-spamming. But really I'm just posting filler until my boobs get pushed to page two.
  19. I'm as fickle as it gets.
  20. If you need more than a glimpse of my ass, go hit a museum or something. I'm filed under pre-Raphaelite.