ImAVeronica
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I'm ready for my next Twitter crush now.
Gift-wrapped.
Thanks in advance.
about 7 hours ago
from web
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Maybe Mommy didn't invent bullshit.
Maybe she just perfected it.
about 8 hours ago
from web
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So. I start asking questions and willy nilly it's not my toothbrush after all!
Don't try to bullshit Mommy, honey. Mommy invented bullshit.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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@ Ren & Stimpy.
about 9 hours ago
from web
in reply to boxdog1031
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"Everyone wants a log."
about 9 hours ago
from web
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If I were an evil mommy, I'd make up an anecdote about the time Grandma was a naughty girl and so her penis was confiscated.
about 12 hours ago
from web
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It's not easy being an anonymous attention whore.
about 16 hours ago
from web
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There's really only so much you can say about carbohydrates.
1:28 PM Nov 13th
from web
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THIS JUST IN: The internet is not private.
11:48 AM Nov 13th
from web
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It turns out that my inner wanton strumpet hibernates for the winter. She was dressed inappropriately anyway.
Should I forward her mail?
9:41 AM Nov 13th
from web
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I'm suddenly feeling REALLY EARNEST about things like QUALITY SOCKS so it's clear my inner child is really an elderly man.
2:23 PM Nov 12th
from web
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It has been one of those weeks where when I catch Three drinking straight from the honey bear, I don't stop him.
10:31 AM Nov 12th
from web
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Four days is an ice age in internet time. Which I guess explains the woolly mammoth too.
9:51 AM Nov 12th
from web
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I'm communing with my inner obnoxious nerd. And it's getting a little ugly, actually.
She's REALLY pushy.
9:57 PM Nov 9th
from web
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I picked the right audience for my smart-kids-have-issues-too rant.
9:56 PM Nov 9th
from web
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@ Don't try to reason with Mama Bear.
9:53 PM Nov 9th
from web
in reply to GPappalardo
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My mom is essentially Annie Hall: The Grandma Years.
9:42 PM Nov 9th
from web
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I'm a lot like my dad except he's even stranger and more tightly-wound. Which is probably hard to imagine.
9:39 PM Nov 9th
from web
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"Have I ever told you about the time I had to fire Jesus?"
9:34 PM Nov 9th
from web
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"So, any followup on your alien abduction?"
9:32 PM Nov 9th
from web
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- Name Maria
- Location Grenada. Or Amherst. Maybe.
- Web http://piscesinpu...
- Bio When the moon is in the 7th house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide our planet, and I will post pictures of my boobs.
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