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IDoThat2

  1. No. My hair magically got shorter…
  2. I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me. What else do we have in common?
  3. You don’t have to tell me I’m negative. I no.
  4. At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position
  5. If you were born in the 90′s The best P.E. lessons involved a Rainbow colored parachute!
  6. I love mankind. But, sometimes, I can’t stand people.
  7. Evolution is just nature’s way of issuing upgrades.
  8. Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?
  9. Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean you couldn’t make me happier.
  10. At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture in there.
  11. If you want someone to open a work email, you need a good subject line. 'STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL' will get read every time without fail.
  12. The second most popular word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'K'
  13. The 'people you may know' feature on FB should be renamed to 'people that you know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with'.
  14. My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face & said, “tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny.” & walked away like a boss.
  15. Bar Rules for MEN: No shirt, no service. Bar rules for WOMEN: No shirt, free drinks.
  16. A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
  17. I love that moment when you catch someone doing something that they thought no one else saw them do.
  18. Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving facebook emails after the weekend saying, “You have been tagged in a photo.