Horrorsc0pes
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: IT BRINGS DEATH! OH GOD IT'S HORRIBLE! THERE'S NO SAVING US NOW! NO HOPE! NO HOPE!
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Like a robot, you wish to understand love. Unlike a robot, you can't bend steel with your bare hands and everyone hates you.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: You pray for rain. Anything to stop them smiling all the time.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: What a beautiful day! It makes you sick to the core.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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LIBRA: Dental records are needed to confirm your identity. Don't worry. You just have a balaclava glued to your face.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Someone tweets an 'inspirational' quote today. The only thing you feel inspired to do, is kill them.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Having warmed them up for a few days, you turn the dial on your weather machine to 'BOIL THE OCEANS'
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: As lovely as the weather is you will get very badly burnt this week, they don't mess around at those crematoriums.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: You're late for work today because you think it's a Bank Holiday. It would be if wasn't for the stupid Queen.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Uranus.... is severely sunburned... *giggles with heatstroke*
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Word to your mother.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Today is just another series of meaningless distractions before you die.
about 12 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK: Nul points.
9:57 AM May 26th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Your psychological health is obliterated today, as Noel Edmond's beard seemingly leaps out of the screen & fucks you in the eyeballs
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Well spit in my drink and call me Charlene, something good happens today! Oh, wait, wrong star sign. No, you die a horrific death.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: Sorry, I overslept. Is it too late to warn you about that car two hours ago? Sorry, you'll recover eventually. Mostly.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: You mistakenly think that the Scottish 'Yes' campaign is an attempt to get them to stop saying 'aye'.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: You get up, go to work, come home, TV, sleep, go to work.. £25k in student fees, now this is your meaningless existence. Enjoy.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: The unhappiness you feel will never end.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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: You are a hollow, empty vessel with nothing to live for and no one who loves you.
3:36 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Mon-Fri Horrorscopes
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