HoityPolloi
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Is it still called a tramp stamp if it's on the back of your neck? I'm asking for the skank in the Juicy sweatpants.
about 15 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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EXCELLENT MONDAY A+++ WOULD USE AGAIN!!!
8:04 AM Nov 23rd
from Birdhouse
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My dyslexia has gotten so bad it's now able to crash OS X, ladies.
Unrelated: who added bukake to my spell checker?
6:36 AM Nov 18th
from Birdhouse
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@ Oh god, you really need to get Paul on the Twitters, these awful jokes are just going to waste.
5:39 PM Nov 17th
from Tweetie
in reply to suerell
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Apparently my superpower is fucking shit up, and not in the good way.
3:22 PM Nov 12th
from Birdhouse
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Trying to wrap my head around "Sweeps". So a Same-Day DVR Viewer is equal to 3/5ths of a white man?
8:02 AM Oct 27th
from Birdhouse
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Oh fuck! I accidentally just found out who Jon & Kate are. Months of hard work pissed away in one moment of carelessness.
7:59 AM Oct 25th
from Birdhouse
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So, salmon is still pink after being shat out by a dog and smeared over carpet? You live, you learn, you properly dispose of the body.
7:16 AM Oct 21st
from Birdhouse
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Message recieved, Universe. I need to jazz up my bucket list. Can I borrow someone's bedazzler?
4:17 PM Oct 7th
from Birdhouse
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There are somethings that just can't be unseen. You can go ahead and add "Obese retarded guy covered in pigeons" to the list.
4:08 PM Oct 7th
from Birdhouse
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The man-boobs are coming from inside the house!
5:17 PM Oct 2nd
from Birdhouse
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Ever tried eating yoghurt with a fork? No, me neither. I use my fingers like a normal fucking person.
9:09 AM Oct 2nd
from Birdhouse
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Just beat my dog in a staring contest, idiot broke eye contact to lick his wang.
For some reason this doesn't really feel like a victory.
7:31 AM Sep 22nd
from Birdhouse
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@ Whoop-Whoop-Whoop-Whoop-Whoop!
5:36 AM Sep 18th
from Tweetie
in reply to socialloafer
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@ how many times do I have to tell you, put your siege weapons away when you're done playing.
11:08 PM Sep 16th
from web
in reply to SophTwee
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So, when I'm running and I lose all feeling below my right knee that's a good thing, yeah?
I get to pretend I have a peg-leg at least.
6:48 PM Sep 13th
from Birdhouse
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Excuse me, Mr electric utility repairman getting stoned on the job. The orange vest and flashing hazard lights make you *more* conspicuous.
8:36 AM Sep 11th
from Birdhouse
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@ you gotta watch out for that electron goo. You know all it wants to do is kill you dead.
11:32 PM Sep 8th
from web
in reply to SophTwee
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For fuck's sake, can someone please design a refrigerator that sighs wistfully and rolls its eyes when I stand with the door open too long.
7:52 AM Sep 8th
from Birdhouse
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@ are you talking about nose candy?
12:54 AM Sep 4th
from Tweetie
in reply to socialloafer
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- Name Dré
- Location Down South. No, Souther.
- Web http://dré.com
- Bio I enjoy long walks on the beach, romantic candle lit dinners, snorting blow off the belly of dead hookers and writing sarcastic online biographies.
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