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HitStart

DamienFahey When someone tells me about a book they've read, I pretentiously say, "Oh, I don't even own a book." 1:24 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by HitStart and 1349 others
SethMacFarlane Once upon a time there was a girl named Snow White who lived in a beautiful forest, and always had a vague look of numb disinterest. 7:14 PM May 26th via Echofon Retweeted by HitStart and 2469 others
SethMacFarlane Quick, somebody trademark the title "The Pope's Butler" before Kevin James does! 3:19 PM May 26th via Echofon Retweeted by HitStart and 302 others
GaryJanetti Single women, just remember this summer is going to be exactly like last summer-- only you're older. 3:48 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by HitStart and 401 others
thesulk Love isn't a battlefield. It's a murder-suicide. 5:28 PM May 24th via web Retweeted by HitStart and 648 others
@ColtCabana call it the "Shabbat Shuck" or like Jewish corn or something. 12:47 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to ColtCabana
pattonoswalt "Let's do two quick verses, two choruses, then see how long we can jerk off with our guitars, then fade" -- all 70's rock 8:52 AM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by HitStart and 539 others
@zellerzgbc9 Who the fuck are you #twink ? #IWillFuckUrPetGerbil #AlbanyAnimalFuckFest2012 @ProstatePunch #Tweetslam 12:27 AM May 17th via Twitter for iPhone
Andy_Richter I want a name for my business that says "I'm kind of a passive-aggressive dick". twitter.com/Andy_Richter/s… 11:37 AM May 14th via Camera on iOS Retweeted by HitStart and 133 others
thesulk I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just spoke to a girl who's "exhausted". I'll keep you all posted. 11:31 AM May 14th via web Retweeted by HitStart and 1455 others
pattonoswalt .@evanrachelwood "Mullet"? I prefer the terms "Kentucky waterfall" or "Canadian passport." 11:11 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to evanrachelwood Retweeted by HitStart and 188 others
@grennayxsrp4 FUCK OFF BEFORE I RAPE YOUR #BLOWUPDOLLS #Tweetslam 9:39 PM May 8th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to grennayxsrp4
neiltyson "@JeremyBorenTrib I thought space was your thing?" Okay. Stars in Milky Way outnumber bacteria in that 1cm stretch of colon. 12:46 PM May 1st via TweetDeck Retweeted by HitStart and 141 others
neiltyson FYI: Who's in Charge? More Bacteria live & work in one centimeter of your lower colon than the sum of all humans ever born. 12:27 PM May 1st via TweetDeck Retweeted by HitStart and 1721 others
pattonoswalt Is, "Shapeshifters!" a bad thing to yell when you ejaculate? 7:48 PM Apr 28th via web Retweeted by HitStart and 440 others
thesulk Dried sperm in a condom will now be known as "rubber sement". Adjust accordingly. 9:32 AM Apr 25th via web Retweeted by HitStart and 401 others
Andy_Richter #FF RT @lanyardquirk: Yeah, I've totally got the hang of this sexting thing. (faxes an ultrasound of my empty uterus) 1:17 PM Apr 13th via TweetCaster for iOS Retweeted by HitStart and 15 others
MikeDrucker Everyone who claimed God told them to run for President has now dropped out. Either they were all full of shit or God's an asshole. 11:32 AM Apr 10th via web Retweeted by HitStart and 3208 others
SethMacFarlane RT @tallifan: Please tell me there'll be a commentary on Ted DVD with you, Mila & Mark // Your profile pic is terrifying. 10:18 AM Apr 3rd via Echofon Retweeted by HitStart and 108 others

Name The Big Dauwg
Location Big VERRmont aka N of Texas
Web http://www.destru...
Bio Previous owner of a mint green ford taurus, enjoys bad-touch and salt licks, and hates you.