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Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
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Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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HairyJew4Life

  1. Any more pressure from my girlfriend to propose and I'll turn into the diamond she's looking for. 4:13 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  2. I buy girls drinks at the bar because talking to other guys can make a girl thirsty. 2:32 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  3. Most guys say they love blowjobs for the silence. If your girl is silent during a blowjob, then she's not doing that shit right. 8:33 AM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  4. Her: What keeps you from cheating on someone if you don't have a conscience? Me: Opportunity. 8:04 AM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  5. Name your restaurant "I don't care". It will receive tons of business. 12:39 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  6. The only thing worse than my sexual stamina is my phone stamina. 11:56 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  7. I'm allergic to gluten so whenever I have sex she has to make me lettuce wraps afterwards. 10:30 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  8. Goodbye Favstar link in profile. Now I know how Andy Dufresne felt after breaking out of Shawshank. 8:14 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. If you ask a woman to guess how many chicks you've slept with and she doesn't guess zero, you have a chance with her. 7:54 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. Women of Twitter, thanks for ruining real women for me. You're smart, funny, beautiful, and the perfect amount of slutty. I hate you!!! 7:54 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. I'm really good at sex if she knows what she's doing. 7:34 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. You may be able to resist me but you can't resist alcohol. 8:21 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. Sometimes I'll wear a blue shirt to Walmart just so someone will accidentally talk to me. 7:33 AM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Just ban all marriage. Then everyone wins. 8:51 PM May 8th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. Really funny people from Twitter leave Twitter for bigger and better things. The rest of us stay here forever. We're like the cast of SNL. 3:43 PM May 8th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. Rearrange the letters in "women" and what do you get? Own me. 3:35 PM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I'll make you feel like you're the only woman in this dark alley. 3:21 PM May 5th via TweetDeck
  18. Attention women: Not every other woman on Facebook is gorgeous. Stop lying to them with your picture comments. 2:37 PM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. Cheapest way to get laid: Remember the smallest, most trivial thing a woman tells you and bring it up in conversation at a later time. 11:07 AM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. I think I'm the perfect level of freaky when it comes to sex. Somewhere between light spanking and pulling a giant squid out of your rectum 8:46 AM May 4th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name Hebrew Hammer
  • Bio Sarcastic asshole that is hairier and jewier than you are. All the girls say that because I'm jewish that I'm cheap and have a small dick. Dead on
1,247 Following 11,086 Followers 912 Listed
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