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GuyEndoreKaiser

  1. What if that guy just found a mountain that looked like those presidents and then told everyone he carved it? 7:48 AM May 26th via Twitter for iPad
  2. If you name your store SHOPPE, you can go to HELLE. 9:51 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. If you want to find the laziest person in the world, start with the guy who orders a large drink at a place with free refills. 2:07 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. All your opinions? I agree with them! Dead on!!! #FF @GuyEndoreKaiser 10:29 AM May 25th via web
  5. You know who is the most beautiful? Kids are the most beautiful!!! And pets! And your religion!!! #FF @GuyEndoreKaiser 10:27 AM May 25th via web
  6. Hey, you know who's strong? Men. Men are strong! Beautiful too! #FF @GuyEndoreKaiser 10:25 AM May 25th via web
  7. Have you ever noticed how women are the best at stuff, and beautiful too? #FF @GuyEndoreKaiser 10:20 AM May 25th via web
  8. @KenJennings PANDER PANDER PANDER PANDER PANDER PANDER PANDER (good idea) 10:16 AM May 25th via web in reply to KenJennings
  9. @AllCharisma @DannyZuker @rexhuppke @juliussharpe @damienfahey @johnmoe @joemande Yes, hello? What is it? 9:52 AM May 25th via web in reply to AllCharisma
  10. Britney walked off X Factor when someone sang one of her songs. She didn't know it was her song, she was just offended by how bad it was. 9:47 AM May 25th via web
  11. Hey parents, if you don't want me giving your kid a congratulatory hug, then don't advertise the fact that they got student of the month. 9:26 AM May 25th via web
  12. NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS FILM. (except the hundreds we ate at craft services every single day) 10:44 AM May 24th via web
  13. Abstinence is still the only completely reliable way to prevent popularity. 10:13 PM May 23rd via web
  14. I'm not racist, I'm just retro. 12:58 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  15. Just parked next to someone who has the exact same car as me. How FUN is life!?! 1:29 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  16. “Noah, I want you to save two of every species.” “Okay, but what about the billions of other innocent animals?” “Fuck em.” 12:54 PM May 19th via web
  17. Huge congrats to every single religion for tying for World's Dumbest Religion!!! 2:22 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPad
  18. I wish when Zooey Deschanel asked, "Is that rain?" Siri was like, "What the fuck else could it possibly be, Zooey?" 8:20 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone