GooseHonk
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My dentist told me I look good in red. With all the bleeding she's caused, I'm thinking she just has an unhealthy obsession with that color.
1:33 PM May 19th
via web
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Cried at a pampers commercial today. Since I hate babies the only logical reason must be my deep-seated fear of incontinence....or babies.
10:15 PM May 17th
via web
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Getting hiccups when you have a good buzz is like spraining your ankle at the zoo. Fucking bummer. I wanted to see the elephants.
10:12 PM May 17th
via web
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@ we can only hope
9:59 PM May 17th
via Echofon
in reply to GooseHonk
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Dear God Yes.
9:58 PM May 17th
via web
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Nothing like the perfect pair of jeans. Not too long or short, fits just right at the waist and butt, a hole in the back for my tail...
8:31 AM May 16th
via web
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Why am I the only one who doesn't think the E Trade baby is cute or funny? It's just so cheap and lame and poorly done.
12:37 AM May 6th
via web
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Anyone else put the unpopped kernels back in the bag, staple it and make another round of popcorn? Sometimes repeating this twice or more?
4:21 AM May 3rd
via web
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@ you know, if they modernized it and set it in New York..
11:23 PM Apr 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to GooseHonk
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Wuthering Heights=miserable man & miserable woman make each other miserable & spread misery to everyone around them. Still somehow romantic.
11:19 PM Apr 30th
via web
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Two things that will always come out with the heat: spiders and race wars.
7:21 PM Apr 30th
via web
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@ You're my favorite Angel on the team! I really hope to see you in the lineup on Thursday! Got my tickets.
7:17 PM Apr 30th
via web
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Worst thing in the world: See a spider on the wall, turn away to get something to kill it with, turn back, the spider is nowhere to be found
8:28 AM Apr 30th
via web
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We ended our first date on your couch talking & sipping wine, but you didn't have me until you whispered, "Let's pretend the floor is lava."
9:39 PM Apr 19th
via web
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I battle my own Hunger Games every day of my life... My character is Fatness Neverlean.
11:19 PM Apr 15th
via web
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It's time to get a life-makeover when you start using your snuggie as a bathrobe.
4:01 AM Apr 15th
via web
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I'm writing a book about my magical bathroom cupboard. I put my vitamins in, & then when I open it to take one somehow 5 years have passed.
10:26 AM Apr 1st
via web
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This White Russian has given me -8 agility, but +2 belligerence.
10:06 PM Mar 22nd
via web
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Mmm, mimosas. Gettin' my vitamin C on. (C is for champagne)
8:07 PM Mar 20th
via web
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The title of my first EP is going to be "I make sexy look good"
9:52 PM Mar 17th
via web
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- Name Cairina Moschata
- Location Funny Lady
- Bio If the things you laugh at don't make you feel sick with guilt at the same time, you're not challenging yourself enough.
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