God_On_The_Can
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Dear Adam and Eve: Are you for real? It was just a fucking apple, not a Snickers! Love, God.
6:49 PM Aug 24th
from web
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I just did your mom.
6:46 PM Aug 24th
from web
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I think Bruce was such a jerk because nobody took him seriously after he changed his name to Nebuchadnezzar.
10:44 AM Aug 23rd
from web
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You'd think of all people, I would be able to cut to the front of the line at Ikea. Fuckin' Swedes.
12:19 PM Aug 22nd
from web
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Just found some pix from way back, during the Diaspora. Hey guys... sorry about that. I really dropped the ball on that one.
9:34 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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The creator of the universe doesn't need to suggest people to follow on Friday. I do what I want. @ Funny S.O.B
9:28 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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Drinking some malt liquor with L. Ron Hubbard. We laugh.
9:25 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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For the record, it was 40 lays in 40 nights. Fuckin' idiot.
9:23 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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People ask me why I made Eve from Adam's rib. There's not many parts that are expendable. It was a rib, a testicle, or the appendix.
9:22 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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to Judas! We have some history, but that was a long time ago. We all good.
9:19 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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to my new BFF @
9:17 AM Aug 22nd
from web
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I am so sick of Noah. Not many people know this, but he had that ark made in China on the cheap. Asshole.
11:46 AM Aug 19th
from Twaitter
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Anyone know of a 25-year old blonde with a tongue ring who likes to suck pipe? And don't say Mary. Bitch never swallows.
11:38 AM Aug 19th
from Twaitter
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God needs some pussy.
11:35 AM Aug 19th
from Twaitter
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Oh Christ. I'm out of OxyContin.
3:19 PM Aug 17th
from web
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Ditto on Eva Green. Yes, God is bisexual. Duh.
3:09 PM Aug 17th
from web
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Gabriel Byrne calls himself an atheist. I call him fucking smokin' hot.
3:09 PM Aug 17th
from web
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'Hope' and 'Change' are just fancy words for "Let's drink malt liquor until our faces get numb".
2:47 PM Aug 17th
from web
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Jesus just ate my leftover meatloaf. I'm gonna dick-slap him till that pussy-ass halo falls off.
2:34 PM Aug 17th
from web
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I exist. Get over it. Stop questioning my existence. Instead, start questioning why we don't have flying cars yet. Who's to blame?
2:32 PM Aug 17th
from web
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- Name God Almighty
- Location Fucking everywhere. I'm God.
- Web http://iminparent...
- Bio I am the one you call God. I like jigsaw puzzles, lol-ing with my crew and sitting on the toilet while fixing the universe. I sleep in on Sundays.
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