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Yellow-Hair was a total buzz-kill. " we don't read to the girls enough. Shit. If I read to my kids they'd be online learning how toaje bonbsabout 3 hours agofrom Tweetie
My mom got me drunk and made mw eat brownies and watch Glee. She's the best mom I ever had.about 3 hours agofrom Tweetie
Dear meat thermometer, you suck donkey balls. This chicken is raw. You told me to take it off the BBQ. I hate you. Ima gonna run you over.about 8 hours agofrom Tweetie
Yellow-Hair is monitoring my food intake this week. I'm hungry. I miss my donut mistress. If I die, please bury me with some chow mein.11:58 PM Nov 24thfrom Tweetie
I think me favorite seller at the flea market today had to be the guy selling goats and car batteries. But I missed me flea buddy.1:13 PM Nov 24thfrom Tweetie
So I got another guinea pig and then discovered that one of the original two is male. So eventually I will have many guinea pigs.1:00 PM Nov 24thfrom Tweetie
I think it's funny someone actually did a study on the dangers of texting while driving. Really? That's dangerous? Ur a genius!!12:58 PM Nov 24thfrom Tweetie
I'm definitely going to Toys r Us black Friday sale at midnight on Thanksgiving...who wants to come with. Gonna punch someone over Barbie!9:54 AM Nov 24thfrom Tweetie
