GaryDelaney
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David Seaman was known as 'Safe Hands' because he couldn't take off his gloves without entering a secret combination first.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ He should call Racial Autoglass. They'll come out and fix it for free.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ You'll have ace time. The gig 'charatcter' tweets in advance to say where he's sitting.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ Actually one ad-lib did have some carefully pre-planned moves.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ It was lovely. I did some funnies and they laughed lots, plus I did some ad-libs I'd written earlier. Then we had Chinese.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ That took me a minute to figure out. Good work.
about 5 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ is that all it costs for three of us. Frankly I'm offended? I wrote that chat room diss just for you btw. Hope you liked it.
about 6 hours ago
from mobile web
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I can hear the sea from my hotel in Aberystwyth, either that or my room is next to a big shell.
about 6 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ Rider is indeed good. I am a techno fool but @ is posting one up.
about 10 hours ago
from mobile web
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Poppers can be used to keep jacket pockets tightly shut, or do the opposite for bottoms.
about 11 hours ago
from mobile web
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@ Hello, I'd best be good then, eh?
about 12 hours ago
from mobile web
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Just tried to buy a cup of tea and a sandwich and ended up fighting vampires. Last time I go to the Buffy Car.
about 16 hours ago
from mobile web
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Nearly on time, coffee reasonably nice , other passengers only moderately annoying. I must be on the quite carriage.
about 17 hours ago
from mobile web
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Just been to Waterstones and the conspiracy theory section was closed. Coincidence?
about 18 hours ago
from web
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@ Yes, I don't actually know how to make jam.
4:19 AM Nov 23rd
from web
in reply to djhanks
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Concensus seems to be that last joke should have been about playing instruments instead. Annoyingly, I think you are all right.
3:59 AM Nov 23rd
from web
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@ That's quite nice actually.
3:47 AM Nov 23rd
from web
in reply to jackdavidburton
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This christmas I'm making all of my friends jam. The hard part is peeling them first.
3:45 AM Nov 23rd
from web
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@ London Bridge 22 Dec, and no-longer-called-Jongleurs Camden on 22/23 Jan. Can sort comps if you fancy.
3:44 AM Nov 23rd
from web
in reply to yestomhughesyes
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@ *straightens tie and pretends not to hear to avoid awkwardness*
3:42 AM Nov 23rd
from web
in reply to robrouse
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- Name Gary Delaney
- Location Erdington, Brum
- Web http://www.garyde...
- Bio Lacking in Social Skills One-Liner Merchant. I shamelessly test new jokes on Twitter.
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