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GSouder

  1. @alanamay25 1) he looks like a 12 year old 2) he's a dude and I'm not gay 3) you had plenty of room, why didn't you just spell "have" out?
  2. Someone just rt'ed me from 4 months ago. Either he's been getting very deep into my twitter page (stalker) or he's from the past (McFly)
  3. @bonisteel I think I could spend an hour once a week arguing with @depihope when she tries to tell me how old she is.
  4. Hmm... @shitmydadsays gets a TV show and all I get is that one annoying fuck who points out all my typos. The universe hates me.
  5. the trick to the trending topics list is to follow so many lists that you never see the fucking thing.
  6. "funny, I thought you'd turn out gay" Shit my dad said.
  7. The only thing that would make me watch an episode of Oprah would be if she did the Truffle Shuffle while sitting on Bette Midler's nose
  8. @cambie No, I don't think anyone over looks it. They just wait till I leave the room to ask her why she's with me. I'd like to know too.
  9. how much it would cost for Fred Savage to do a voice over of my life? I dunno but I'm paying for it with the money I saved by choosing Geico
  10. Cause: White people in suits saying the word "holla" while raising the roof Effect: a verbal drive by and then pouring out my 40 oz coffee
  11. "...So, it's not you, it's me. And by me I mean my dog. He's an asshole. To answer your question? No, I wouldn't suggest petting him"
  12. This is the first time Friday and a weekend actually mean something to me and I'm in bed by 9. Dentures and Depends can only be so far away
  13. I got your intetgrated circuit right here
  14. @_T_a_y_ I'm just going to go to bed and assume that you forgot to put the three comas, 9 zeros and a K in there. Goodnight.
  15. @_T_a_y_ Cool, if crosswords are *so* 2005 I can finally say I am VINTAGE, which, of course, means I cost more now.
  16. 10 out of 10 people honestly think their lane is the slowest in a traffic jam
  17. Twitter can be broken down into 2 groups: those that are bitching and...um... Apparenty Twitter can only be broken down into 1 group
  18. Right, like *you've* never filled out a crossword puzzle with random letters to impress the boss only to have him come over and help.
  19. In the words of my personal hero, Ghandi, channeling Budda, these are words to live by: "IN YOUR FACE JOBOO" #quote
  20. His farts became much more interesting after I shoved that *fucking* harmonica up his ass