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Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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GSouder

  1. Economic conversations have exactly the same effect on me as Ambian. 12:38 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPhone
  2. People that live in plexiglass houses can throw all the stones they want. 7:03 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. My wife just admitted to my mom that she couldn't pick my wiener out of a cock line up. 11:29 PM May 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. If the Mayan's really wanted to make a shocking 2012 prediction they should have picked the cubs to win the series. 8:49 AM May 24th via web
  5. So far this Pink Floyd show has consisted of a horrible subway sandwich and surreal amounts of traffic. 8:22 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Women will win the vast majority of domestic arguments out of sheer intellectual endurance. 6:12 PM May 19th via web
  7. I wish Twitter would install a bomb explosion sound for extra satisfaction when I hit the block button. 5:50 PM May 18th via web
  8. I'm vegan because I never want someone else's meat in my mouth. 11:31 AM May 17th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Yes, Betty White, we get it. You're old. Find some new material. 8:33 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. Homeless guy: "that is one nice hat, my man!" Me: "thanks! I like it too!" Homeless guy: "I'm just kidding." 1:53 PM May 13th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. No joke, my cab drivers name is Karpett Munchier. 2:24 PM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. If I have to say "excuse me" I'm roughly 40 seconds away from yelling "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY" while beating you with a newspaper. 12:05 PM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. An overweight diabetic with high blood pressure just told me how unhealthy my vegan diet is. 10:14 AM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. As far as I'm concerned, nipples aren't useless on anything. 3:18 AM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. I don't appreciate my nose's lack of respect for the female form. 12:47 PM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. It's impossible to order a "grande" coffee and not feel like a douche for saying the word "grande". 10:06 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I can't wait to get home so I can take a shower with more water pressure than a garden gnome with prostate cancer. 11:03 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. The only difference between a hooker and a hooch is that one will sleep with you for free. 11:02 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. A 45 year old well educated woman just asked me if the only difference between a hurricane and a tornado is rain. 9:04 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. Based on how often I make things up in conversation I have to assume everyone else is full of shit. 8:16 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name CHEETAH POW CHICKEN
  • Location The West Wing of Awesome.
  • Web http://about.me/g...
  • Bio I hope my arch nemesis is as lazy as I am. Witstream contributor, dwarf tosser and matchstick flicker.
358 Following 32,774 Followers 740 Listed
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