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Ireland
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United States
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FunBobFatPants

  1. Josh Hamilton makes me wish I had a Uterus.
  2. Ever worried that you have some silly nickname that you don't know about? Like tiny or tank or guy who beats off into the hotel towels.
  3. "@steveagee: Laundry is almost done" what flavor of laundry sauce are you using?
  4. No one cares how smart you are. Stop using words that arent part of your vocabulary. Make people laugh, not make'em use Google. #pretentious
  5. @liaporvida I'd let Steve Buscemi blow me
  6. Just did 20 minutes and now I'm sticking around for the open mic. I'm a junkie for this. New city. New jokes....hopefully some new 'tang.
  7. "@liaporvida: #Barf RT @ChelseaVPeretti: Imagine Steve Harvey eating your pussy" totes wish I had a puss for some Steve Harvey 'gine time!
  8. @Jcooner23 be safe buddy...keep the little one in your britches and the big one 'tween the ditches!
  9. No. "@JoseCanseco: Reminder to vote for me for all star game. Write in vote."
  10. You guys are patriotic on Memorial Day the same way you're a Christian during Easter and honest before Christmas.
  11. "There is no "I" in meat" - My dyslexic football coach. Every play we ran was a reverse.
  12. @JennyJohnsonHi5 that dog shits on nicer carpet than I do :(
  13. @yourbuddygooch you've lost that lovin' feelin Gooch.
  14. Its myrethra, right? Its not mine when its urethra. What the hell is a rethra? Did Godzilla fight Rethra?
  15. The ASPCA (Association of Super Punny Comedians of America) @ComedianBooya @yourbuddygooch @Padillacomedy @gabenolasco @thefunnyjosh
  16. @trezmala @tylerptown @whotheFisty @TheCFlushShow follow these guys for wholesome enlightenment LOL JK! They have great weiner jokes.
  17. @yourbuddygooch we all still agree that #ff doesn't mean "fist fornicate", right?
  18. @MattMarkman she wouldn't happen to have that birthday card that she promised me when I was 13 would she?
  19. I've erased more tweets today than I have angry text messages to my ex-wife in the last two years. #fukusuccubus