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FillWerrell

  1. I am following ANYONE who follows @_UnluckyBrian_ !!! Hurry I am checking RIGHT NOW!!!
  2. What I do on Grand Theft Auto: 10% Legit missions. 90% Fuck shit up, steal cars, and run over people.
  3. Everything becomes 100 times louder when you aren't trying to wake someone up.
  4. We stay up late every night. Regret it every morning. Then do it again.
  5. I've always wanted to get in a taxi and yell, "FOLLOW THAT CAR!!"
  6. The condom says to the tampon "You steal my job for 1 week every month!" The tampon says: "When you fuck up I lose my job for 9 months!"
  7. How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
  8. I'm watching my favorite TV shows with Hulu Plus and thought you'd enjoy it. Sign up & get 2 weeks FREE! hulu.com/r/MumVSA
  9. "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
  10. That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you're stupid.
  11. Did you know if you say "beer can" with a British accent, you have also just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent?
  12. It is scientific fact that the human body craves Chik-Fil-A even more on a Sunday.
  13. Alcohol. Because no good story starts with, "This one time I ate a salad..."
  14. If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends.
  15. If Chuck Norris is so awesome, he would show up at my house and slam my face onto the keyboaroijioejoiwefnisnvicnveiunviuenfivun4uh893rfjn
  16. If they ever put a DUI checkpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru, it's safe to say we're all screwed.
  17. Age 11: "I whip my hair back and forth!" Age 37: "I drive my kids back and forth!" Age 69: "I rock my chair back and forth!"