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Figliuolo

  1. When your dog is making an odd sound and your gut screams an instinctual "DON'T LOOK!" you should go with your gut Trust me on this.
  2. Stop Isolating Your Business: Two Ways You're Ruining Opportunities http://cli.gs/hTTZq
  3. Dear Pharmacy, Might reconsider placing the "this area under video surveillance" sign on the hemorrhoid ointment & ex-lax shelf. #awkward
  4. 9 y.o. daughter just used "Crap!" splendidly and with perfect execution. And emphatically might I add. These are the days fathers live for
  5. @tweeteorites can you enable timelines for me (even though my 12 yo son Galactus says my tweets suck)? Thanks!
  6. If you ain't following @MeetingBoy you're missing out. I know him and his pain. Let's help him grow his base - definitely worth it!
  7. "Dummy! There are no volcanoes in Ohio!" "So *that's* why we can't have gneiss things!"
  8. Dear Bad Whistling Lady, The kitschy stereotypical Italian music here at Buca di Beppo is bad enough *without* your off-tune accompaniament.
  9. Dear Sloppy Man, That shirt doesn't go with that belly You prolly wear white after Labor Day too dontcha you fashion disaster?
  10. In case you're wondering... It takes *exactly* 11.43 consecutive Hannah Montana episodes before your ears start bleeding.
  11. @mesimos that's so awesome it makes my head hurt! I'm gonna throw a huge party and invite Flava Flav to commemorate the moment on his clock!
  12. If only these cute little statues on my lawn were made out of Doritos... then I'd be able to call them yard gNOMes. NOM^3
  13. Hogwarts. Swine flu. There's a joke in there - I'm simply too lazy to come up with it. Discuss.
  14. Stop Isolating Your Business: Two Ways You're Ruining Opportunities http://cli.gs/hTTZq
  15. @rosyblue Heck no! These are *my* Munchos. There are other Munchos like them but these are *mine*!
  16. I hereby declare today "National Munchos Day." That's about the only way I can justify how many bags of these I've downed since breakfast.
  17. @MattM2G Anything with "122 Strategies" in the title is something to be avoided.
  18. @angelaself avoid anything with "122" in the title. You can thank me later.
  19. Just read a book that suh-ucks. It was so bad that a monosyllabic "sucks" can't really express how bad it was.
  20. Dinner convo between Galactus & Richard Pryor: G: You've seen Hunchback of Notre Dame, right? RP: Yeah. He's just a fat bug-eyed hobo.